Grief Is A Response To Loss

Grief is the multi-faceted response to loss,

 particularly to the loss of someone

 or something to which a bond was formed.

Henry Lathrop Monument at Stanford University
Leland Stanford, governor of and U.S. senator from California and leading railroad
tycoon, and his wife, Jane Lathrop Stanford, founded the university in 1891 in memory of their son, Leland Stanford, Jr., who died of typhoid two months before his 16th birthday.

I am grieving; one day I will find hope, healing and love again, in the meantime:

I know that it is hard to see me hurting,
 but someone that I love has died and I am going to hurt.

Crying is a healthy reaction to grief and grief is a healthy reaction
 to losing someone that we love...

let me feel my feelings as they come.

Please don't limit the time that is "okay" to grieve.

Sounds like a cliche', but be present.
  Keeping me connected with friends is important.

Call, email, Facebook, send letters or cards, even if I don't respond.
  I will know that you care and that will help.

Don't try to understand, don't compare my loss,
 just understand that you don't understand.

I am not going to "find closure" or "get over it" ; 

but one day I will begin to reinvest in life I just need time.

Pain and joy can coexist; when I laugh one day
 it doesn't mean that I won't cry the next.

I am not crazy.  I might cry in the cereal aisle, be unable to make coffee,
 buy a present for someone who isn't here or visit the cemetery every day.  
I am grieving and that makes a lot of what I do seem crazy.
  If I am not hurting myself or others so please

 just accept that what I am doing is okay.

Memories and stories are important to my healing,
please talk about my child, spouse, sibling, grandchild or parent...
I will tell you if I can't handle it.

Grief can be fickle...some days I can conquer mountains 

and other days I can't conquer a shower.

Forgive me for the insensitive things that I have said or done,
 I don't mean to be hurtful, 

but sometimes I just can't think about what I am doing.

I might seem strong, but I don't feel strong.

My husband, wife, child, sibling, grandchild or parent(s) 
will always be part of my life in many different ways, 
help me include them.

Invite me to dinner, parties, and other events and continue to do
 so even if I say no for a very long time.  
One day I will be ready.

Love me as I am now and know that if you ever experience a similar loss 

you will have a friend who understands.

* Walking With The Bereaved 

Tanya Lord / The Grief Toolbox