Intention, Resolution, and Determination

"Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end.

It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing;

it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it."

~ Margaret Thatcher

Margaret (Maggie) Hilda Roberts Thatcher
(13 October 1925 - 8 April 2013) was Prime Minister o f the United Kingdom from 1979 to 1990.  She was the longest-serving British Prime Minister of the 20th century and is the only woman to have held the office.  A Soviet journalist called her the "Iron Lady", a nickname that became associated with her uncompromising politics and leadership style...source from Margaret Thatcher Foundation

Memorial Day 2013

AMERICANA:  THE LOVE OF AMERICA

by Josh_Painter

REMEMBERING OUR HEROES

Quote from Katrina Mayer

You can tell so much about a person

 by the way they react to a single flower.

~ Katrina Mayer

KatrinaMayer.com

If we could see...

Magnolia grandiflora *SOUTHERN MAGNOLIA*
Photography by Maxie

If we could see the miracle

of a single flower clearly

our whole life would change.  ~ Buddha

Your Mother's Advice

Baseball and Glove by Hall Groat II

“When your mother asks,

‘Do you want a piece of advice?’

it’s a mere formality.

It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no.

You’re going to get it anyway.”

~ Erma Bombeck

Erma Louise Bombeck (February 21, 1927 - April 22, 1996) (aged 69) An American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life humorously from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s. Bombeck also published 15 books, most of which became best-sellers.

A Different Outcome

The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd.  The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.    ~Albert Einstein

The Great Philosopher and Teacher

"Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all."

~ Aristotle

A Greek philosopher, a student of Plato and teacher of

Alexander the Great.

The Unencumbered Spirit

Date a Boy Who Travels

Lena Desmond

Date a Boy Who Travels

Posted: 05/17/2013 1:45 pm

Date a boy who travels. Date a boy who treasures experience over toys, a hand-woven bracelet over a Rolex. Date the boy who scoffs when he hears the words, "vacation," "all-inclusive" or "resort." Date a boy who travels because he's not blinded by a single goal but enlivened by many.

You might find him in an airport or at a book store browsing the travel guides -- although he "only uses them for reference."

You'll know it's him because when you peek at his computer screen his background will be a scenic splendor of rolling hills, mountains or prayer flags. His Facebook friend count will be over-the-roof and his wall will be plastered with the broken English 'miss-you' of friends he met along the way. When he travels he makes lifelong friends in an hour. And although contact with these friends is sporadic and may be far-between his bonds are unmessable and if he wanted he could couch surf the world... again.

Buy him a beer. Maybe the same brand that he wears on the singlet under his plaid shirt, unable to truly let go. Once a traveller gets home people rarely listen to his stories. So listen to him. Allow him to paint a picture that brings you into his world. He might talk fast and miss small details because he's so excited to be heard. Bask in his enthusiasm. Want it for yourself.

He'll squeak like an excited toddler when his latest issue of National Geographic arrives in the mail. Then he'll grow quiet, engrossed, until he finishes his analysis of every photo, every adventure. In his mind he'll insert himself in these pictures. He'll pass the issue on to you and grill you about your dreams and competitively ask about the craziest thing you've ever done. Tell him. And know that he'll probably win. And if by chance you win, know that his next lot in life will be to out do you. But then he'll say, "Maybe we can do it together."

Date the boy who talks of distant places and whose hands have explored the stone relics of ancient civilizations and whose mind has imagined those hands carving, chiseling, painting the wonders of the world. And when he talks it's as if he's reliving it with you. You can almost hear his heart racing. You can almost feel the adrenaline ramped up by the moment. You feel it passing through his synapsis, a feast to his eyes entering through those tiny oracles of experience that we call pupils, digesting rapidly through his veins, manifesting into his nervous system, transforming and altering his worldview like a reverse trauma and finally passing but forever changing the colors of his sight. (Unless he's Karl Pilkington.) You will want this too.

Date a boy who's lived out of a backpack because he lives happily with less. A boy who's travelled has seen poverty and dined with those who live in small shanties with no running water, and yet welcome strangers with greater hospitality than the rich. And because he's seen this he's seen how a life without luxury can mean a life fueled by relationships and family rather than a life that fuels fancy cars and ego. He's experienced different ways of being, respects alternative religions and he looks at the world with the eyes of a five-year-old, curious and hungry. Your dad will be happy too because he's good with money and knows how to budget.

This boy relishes home; the comfort of a duvet, the safety stirred in a mom-cooked meal, the easy conversation of childhood friends and the immaculate glory of the flush-toilet. Although fiercely independent, he has had time to reflect on himself and his relationships. Despite his wanderlust he knows and appreciates his ties to home. He has had a chance to miss and be missed. Because of this he also knows a thing or two about goodbyes. He knows the overwhelming uncertainty of leaving the comforts of home, the indefinite see-you-laters at the departure gates and yet he fearlessly goes into the unknown because he knows the feeling of return. And that the I've-missed-you-hug is the best type of hug in the whole world. He also knows that goodbyes are just prolonged see-you-laters and that 'hello' is only as far away as the nearest internet cafe.

Don't hold onto this boy. Let this boy go and go with him. If you haven't travelled, he will open your eyes to a world beyond the news and popular perception. He will open your dreams to possibility and reality. He will calm your nerves when you're about to miss a flight or when your rental blows a flat because he knows the journey is the adventure. He will make light of the unsavory noises you make when you -- and you will -- get food poisoning. He will make you laugh through the discomfort all while dabbing your forehead with a cold cloth and nursing you with bottled water. He will make you feel like you're home.

When you see something beautiful he will hold your hand in silence, in awe the history of where his feet stand and the fact that you're with him.

He will live in every moment with you because this is how he lives his life. He understands that happiness is no more than a string of moments that displace neutrality and he is determined to tie as many of these strings together as he can. He also understands your need to live for yourself and that you have a bucket list of your own. Understand his. Understand that your goals may at some points differ but that independence is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship when it's mutually respected. You may lose him for a bit but he will always come home bearing a new story and a souvenir he picked up because it reminded him of you, like it was made for you and because he missed you. You might be compelled to do the same. Make sure that independence is on your bucket list and make sure it's checked. Independence will keep your relationship fresh and exciting and when you're together again it will forge a bond of unbreakable trust.

He'll propose when you've breached your comfort-zone, whether it is a fear like skydiving or swimming with sharks or sitting next to the smelly person on an overcrowded bus. It won't be with a diamond ring but with a token from a native culture or inspired by nature, like the penguin and the pebble.

You will get married somewhere unassumed, surrounded by a select few in a moment constructed to celebrate venturing into the unknown together again. Marry the boy who's travelled and together you will make the whole world your home. Your honeymoon will not be forgotten to a buffet dinner and all-you-can-drink beach bars, but will be remembered in the triumphant photographs at the top of Kilimanjaro and memorialized in the rewarding ache of muscles at the end of a long days hike.

When you're ready you will have children that have the names of the characters you met on your journeys, the foreign names of people who dug a special place in your heart if only for a few days. Perhaps you will live in another country and your children will learn of language and customs that open their minds from the very start, leaving no room for prejudice. He will introduce them to the life of Hemingway, the journey of Santiago, and empower them to live even bigger than both of you.

Marry a boy who travels and he'll teach your children the beauty of a single stone, the history of the Incas and he will instill in them the bravery of possibility. He will explain to them that masking opportunity there is fear. He will teach them to concur it.

And when you're old you'll sit with your grandchildren poring over your photo albums and chest of worldly treasures while they too insert themselves into your photographs, sparked by the beauty of the world and inspired by your life in it.

Find a boy who travels because you deserve a life of adventure and possibility. You deserve to live light and embrace simplicity. You deserve to look at life through the eyes of youth and with your arms wide open. Because this is where you will find joy. And better, you will find joy together. And if you can't find him, travel. Go. Embrace it. Explore the world for yourself because dreams are the stuff reality is made from.

Inspired by the work of Charles Warnke (You Should Date An Illiterate Girl) and Rosemarie Urquico (Date A Girl Who Reads).

Originally published on Where Are My Heels.

WISDOM

HUFFPOST  HEALTHY LIVING

THE BLOG

Karen Horneffer-Ginter, Ph.D.Author, 
'Full Cup, Thirsty Spirit: Nourishing the Soul When Life’s Just Too Much'

On Wisdom
Posted: 05/10/2013 8:12 pm

When I think about my desire to slow down and turn my attention within, I realize that I'm often looking to reconnect with a sense of wisdom within myself. I want to experience a sense of peace and clarity that, I hope, will accompany me throughout the day.

I find wisdom to be an intriguing word in that it carries several meanings. We can think of following our wisdom as being about applying the best of our intellect and our common sense to everyday life. We can also view this word as carrying an invitation to connect with a spiritual stream of understanding that carries a depth and clarity beyond our rational thinking.

It's worth considering how we might define wisdom for ourselves. What does this look like in the context of our day-to-day life, how do we experience it and how do we know when we are and when we're not connected to our wisdom?

I notice that when I rush, I'm at high risk for losing this connection. When I'm honest with myself in these moments, I can sense that I'm adding on unnecessary layers of stress and urgency, and that I'm setting myself up for feelings of irritation. This is especially true when I try to cram too many things into the day or decide to start my morning by jolting into full-speed without taking at least a moment to first get centered. Such days are a contrast to what it feels like to first pause and notice where I am and what's going on, so that I can sense what most needs my attention.

I realize that we can't always control whether or not we feel connected to our wisdom. Some days we're doomed to feel out of sync, and in others, we're graced with a sense of being "in the flow," regardless of our actions. I have noticed, however, that I can increase the odds of being a wiser version of myself by taking time to bring my attention within before beginning the day's activities.

I invite you to take a moment to center yourself (or use whatever phrase works for you) before gearing up for the day. Notice what helps you to connect with your wisdom.

For more Full Cup, Thirsty Spirit inspiration, visit: http://www.fullcupthirstyspirit.com/
or visit Karen on Facebook .


Karen Horneffer-Ginter, Ph.D. is the author of “Full Cup, Thirsty Spirit: Nourishing the Soul When Life’s Just Too Much” (Hay House). 

She has been practicing psychology and teaching yoga and contemplative practices for more than 16 years. Karen co-founded the Center for Psychotherapy and Wellness in Kalamazoo, Michigan, where she currently offers counseling and other classes and workshops. 

The aim of Karen's work is to reconnect people with the wisdom of their inner-life by reclaiming what gets lost amidst the busyness of day-to-day life: qualities such as stillness, self-care, creativity, joy, humor, gratitude, and compassion. Her intention is to support people in finding a sense of balance and sacredness in their lives. Her interests in this topic are based on an intersection of her professional and personal life, as a working mother of two children who knows, lives, and attempts to thrive within the busyness of daily life.

Contentment

"Everything has its wonders, 

even darkness and silence,

and I learn, whatever state

I may be in, therein to be content."

~    Helen Keller

Opportunities

"Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day." ~ Sally Koch

A Good Friend

"A good friend is a connection to life

a tie to the past, a road to the future,

the key to sanity in a totally insane word."    

~ Lois Wyse

Lois Wyse (October 30, 1926 - July 6, 2007) was an American advertising executive, author and columnist.  At the time of her death, Wyse was credited with writing more than 60 books on diverse topics such as business, love and family.

The Art of Making New Friends

HuffPost's:   The BLOG

Marlo Thomas, Award-winning actress, author and activist
Posted: 05/14/2013 9:16 am  

12 Tips For Making New Friends At Any Age

Having great friends is one of life's most wonderful rewards. I know I'd be lost without my closest girlfriends, and I realize how very lucky I am to have them in my life. Just knowing there is always someone to call, to confide in, to laugh and cry with is a tremendous comfort. But, of course, not all friendships are perfect, and there's no guarantee that even the best ones will last forever.

When you're young, single, in school or just starting out professionally, you're surrounded by lots of other people who are all in the same boat and new friends seem to be everywhere. Life is just beginning to unfold, and change is everywhere, and that means a constant stream of new adventures, new possibilities and new people.

But as we get older, we can sometimes find ourselves becoming a bit more reserved, and a little less open to change. We get settled into our families, our careers and our routines. And sometimes the friendships in our lives can fall away for any number of reasons, leaving us feeling a little less connected and a little more isolated.

As an adult, it can be hard to meet new people and start new relationships -- especially after a divorce, after the kids are grown, after being laid off or becoming a widow. But it may not be as hard as you think to make new friends in mid-life and beyond.

We reached out to "The Friendship Doctor," Irene Levine, to give us some tips on how to reach out and find new friends at any age. Her advice is fabulous and practical. It's all about taking small steps, opening up, reaching out and realizing that you are not the only one out there looking for new friends.

Take a look.


 1.  Get Out Of The House
Don't stay home tethered to your computer or TV. Now is the time to establish and solidify friendships for the years ahead. Once you venture out, you'll find there are other people who are just as eager to make friends as you are.

 2.  Don't Quit Before You Start
Many adults have the mistaken impression that everyone else is already paired up, like Noah's Ark, and no one else is looking for new friends. Contrary to the myth perpetuated by popular culture, most friendships don't last forever. Thus, you need to continually replenish your "stock" of friendships.

 3.  Engage With People
Pick up the phone at least once a day to speak to a friend. If you work, arrange to have lunch with someone at least once a week. If you work at home, arrange to have coffee or lunch with someone at least twice a week. Turn off all electronics for a couple of hours each day and see if you find yourself more engaged with people.

 4.  Risk Reaching Out
Don’t be embarrassed about being lonely or friendless. You’re certainly not the only one. Moreover, don’t let shame or embarrassment stop you from reaching out to new friends. Otherwise, your friendlessness will become a vicious cycle.

 5.  Don't Take Rejection Personally
People need to overcome the idea that they are the only one seeking friendships and that rejection, if it occurs, is personal. Sometimes another individual's dance card is simply already filled up with family, work and other friendships.

 6.  Take Things Slowly
Don't fall prey to expecting too much too soon or acting too needy. Give friendships time to blossom by being open, honest and showing interest in other people.

 7.  Make Your Friendships A Priority
Unfortunately, many women look at their friendships as discretionary compared to their responsibilities to families and careers. For this reason, they fail to allocate time for friendships. It isn’t selfish or indulgent to make time for friendships. Having close friendships makes a woman happier --and better wife, mother and worker.

 8.  Pursue Your Passions
Making friends is more a function of circumstance rather than age, per se. No one is more attractive to others than someone who is engaged in life. Whether you join a gym, take an art course, sign up for dancing lessons or volunteer at a nonprofit, find something that stirs your passions and places you in regular contact with the same people week after week. Friendships will follow.

 9.  Look For Acquaintances First
Every friendship starts off with the exchange of a smile, question or comment. Best friends don't grow on trees and real relationships take time to nurture. As two people get to know each other, they will fall into a comfortable groove.

10.  Try An Intergenerational Friendship
Perhaps you have limited yourself by looking for people who are just like you. You can expand your pool of potential friends by seeking out people who are little bit different, in terms of age or lifestyle. Is there an elderly neighbor on your block who might welcome your company, or a young mother who would love to have some adult companionship once in a while? Intergenerational friendships yield valuable payoffs on both sides.

11.  Join A Group Or Several Groups
Become active in your community: There is life after the PTA and scouting. Can you become a friend of the library? Participate in local government by serving on a committee. Join an existing book group or cooking club, or start one of your own. Go to meetup.com to find out about various interest groups; they are  by zip code.

12.  Turn Your Virtual Friendships Into Real Ones
Perhaps you are spending too much time behind your computer screen. Find out if any of your online friendships have the potential to be face-to-face ones. Do some of your Twitter or Facebook friends live nearby? As an added bonus, reducing the amount of time you spend online will give you more time and motivation for forming real friendships.

13.  Find A Travel Tribe
It can be a few college roommates, the women in your book club, several cousins or one best friend. Select an individual or group to travel with whose company you enjoy, and with whom you can relax and be yourself. If you can't stand being with someone over lunch or have the feeling someone may be a frenemy, don't even think about including her! Together, pick an irresistible destination for a girlfriend getaway, perhaps a beach, spa or cruise, where you can bond and nurture your friendships.

Your Pet and Your Mental Health

12 Ways Your Pet Can Improve Your Mental Health!  

by Danielle Hark

Posted: 05/14/2013 8:09 am

When I am feeling down and weary, and I can barely lift myself off the couch, my dog comes to my rescue. She cuddles with me, then motivates me to get up, dressed, and out the door for a walk or some play time. Somehow my fur-baby even gets me to smile, no matter how miserable or stressed I feel.

I am not alone. It turns out that all pets, not just therapy pets, can help your mind, body, and spirit.

Here are a dozen reasons why:

1. They get you outside: Sun and fresh air elevate your mood and the sun gives you an extra dose of vitamin D. Vitamin D exposure helps fight physical and mental conditions, including depression, cancer, obesity, and heart attacks. Also, when you go outside with your pet, you are engaging with nature. Try taking a moment to listen to the trees rustling, feel the wind rushing past, and the sun upon your face. The sounds and feeling of nature can be incredibly calming.

2. They get you moving: Walking your dog and engaging in outdoors activities like tossing a Frisbee gives you a natural energy boost, and allows you to let off steam. It also makes you more physically fit, strengthening your muscles and bones, which helps not only your body, but also your self-esteem. Studies have shown that animal owners, both adults and children, have lower blood pressure, as well as lower cholesterol and triglycerides, which may be in part attributed to the more active lifestyle pets promote. Pet owners also have been noted to have better circulation, and a lower risk of experiencing major cardiac issues. And when your body feels stronger, you are less susceptible to mental health issues.

3. They lessen allergies and asthma, and build immunity: This one may sound counterintuitive, but children who grow up in homes with furry friends are actually less likely to develop common allergies. Studies have shown that children who were exposed to two or more dogs or cats as babies were less than half as likely to develop allergies, including dust, grass, ragweed and pet allergies, and were at a lower risk for asthma. Allergies can cause people to become lethargic, apathetic, and suffer from insomnia, which can make them more vulnerable to mental health issues, such as depression.

4. Petting reduces stress: Rhythmic petting or grooming can be comforting to your dog or cat, and you. Concentrate on the texture of his soft fur, the warmth he radiates, and his deep breaths. When you connect with your pet, oxytocin, the hormone related to stress and anxiety relief, is released, helping to reduce blood pressure and lower cortisol levels.

5. They both distract you and keep you present: Being present and engaged with your pet takes your thoughts off of the issues that are plaguing you. When you are fully in the moment, you are not worrying about the past or the future. It's just you and your pet. Another way to keep distracted and present with your furry friend is to take photos or videos of his or her cute antics.

6. They lessen loneliness: If you don't like to be alone, pets can be great domestic companions. Often a pet is very intuitive and will seek you out when you're feeling down, refusing to allow you to remain alone. Just make sure you can fully care for and love a pet before you take her home. Pets should not be used to fill a temporary void and then pushed aside. A dog or cat is a long-term commitment, and it's not always easy, but if you are up to it, they can provide much love through the good times and the bad.

7. They're great listeners: You can talk to your pet about anything -- your day, your hopes, your dreams. You can practice a speech with them, lament about a breakup, or utter truths that you may be afraid to actually share with someone else. A dog or cat can be the perfect "person" to go to when you want to vent without any potential repercussions.

8. They love you unconditionally: Seeing her enthusiasm when you walk in the door can be an instant mood-lifting boost. Her tail wagging, tongue hanging out her mouth making it look like she is smiling, the way her ears perk up. Her grunts or purrs. She doesn't care if you just screwed up a deal at work, or bombed a test, she loves you for being you, whatever that means on any given day. She's just happy to see you. She wants to be around you, to love you, and be loved by you.

9. They can lessen your isolation: Dog parks allow for more opportunities for socialization for both your dog and you. Your dog makes friends pretty easily and will break the ice so you can connect with new people, and perhaps set up future dog dates, hikes, or playtimes at local parks. Your little cutie can be an instant conversation starter, and also a good way to get to know some of the people in your neighborhood.

10. They can give you a purpose: Having a pet to care for can give you a feeling of purpose, which can be crucial when you are feeling really down and overwhelmed by negative thoughts. By caring for your pet, or another person or animal in need, you are focusing on something other than yourself and your life. Your good deeds, and your pet's positive response, will give you a feeling of instant gratification.

11. They make you smile: When your dog does cute things like rolling on his back or putting a paw up on your arm, he can make you smile, which in turn triggers neurotransmitters to fire. These pet-time smiles can raise your serotonin and dopamine levels, which are nerve transmitters associated with calmness and happiness.

12. Playing is fun: With the grind of daily life, sometimes we forget to just let loose and have fun. Go ahead; wrestle, play catch, dance together, or just run around and act silly. Your dog will love you for it.

So go have some fun with your pooch or feline friend! Have a ball, with a ball, or anything else, and you will both benefit from the pleasurable together time.

And if you don't have a pet or can't get one right now, you can volunteer at a shelter. There are many animals that can still benefit from your love, and you will feel the benefits, too.

Danielle Hark is a professional photographer, and freelance photo editor. She specializes in the fresh and modern portraiture of children, adults, and animals. Her work has been featured in various publications, including Psychology Today, Working Mother, Family Circle Magazine, as well as assorted books and calendars.

She is also a mental health advocate, and founder of BrokenLightCollective.com, the online photography gallery for people living with, or are affected by, mental illness. As someone who has struggled with mental health issues, her mission is to help as many other people who are struggling, using photography and creativity whenever possible. 

She lives and photographs in NJ with her husband and favorite models, her young daughter and shelter pup. For more information visit www.DanielleHark.com.


Danielle Hark Photographer, Mental Health Advocate, 
Founder of BrokenLightCollective.com

Chronic Stress is a Massive Problem

The Blog 

Michael Gervais, Ph.D.Director of High-Performance Psychology, DISC Sports & Spine Center
Learning to De-Stress in the Wake of Bad News, National Tragedy and Terror

Posted: 05/09/2013 8:08 am

In this ever-connected world, it only takes a glance at the Internet, a scan of TV news or a few minutes listening to the radio to get a full barrage of gloom and doom. While the bad has always been there right alongside the good, never has it been so up close and personal as it is today -- when a headline's shock value is directly connected to its viral speed.

The result is a generation wracked with stress and fear... heart rates through the roof due to unnecessary worry, raising the toll on our mental and physical health. So, how do we de-stress in such an environment?

Stress, inherently, is not the problem. In fact, most world-class athletes that I spend time with have taught me the value of looking for opportunities to stress their minds and bodies. They have a clear understanding that stress is required to become more resilient, stronger and ultimately to grow in life. 

Chronic stress is a massive problem, however. More precisely, the inability to let go of the initial (and healthy) response to stress is often closely linked to many health issues that we may face. 

Before we go further, let's develop a deeper understanding of the two primary types of stress, known as: 1) eustress (good stress) and 2) distress (bad stress). The key difference between the two depends on the interpretation of the event by experiencer, meaning that each of us has the ability to determine the type of stress that we are experiencing.

In respect to de-stressing, eustress and distress have very different effects on the body. Distress requires much more energy, and -- hence -- much more recovery needed to regain balance.

The management of stress is the challenge. Most of us make the assumption that the environment around us creates stress (e.g., an unexpected event that involves loss), which is unfortunately only a small part of the equation. The way we think about the event(s) is what triggers our response to stress. 

The most powerful way to engage with stress is for people to notice when they are (dis)stressed -- which can then become an opportunity to quickly understand the thinking that has created the toxic (chronic or overly anxious) response. Developing this type of insight offers the opportunity to upgrade or change the thinking that, at one time, led to a chronic, prolonged or toxic response to stress. 

Alongside of becoming aware of the experience of stress, there is one very powerful skill that has a dramatic impact on "reversing" the immediate impact of stress. It's likely more simple than you'd imagine. It's as simple as taking a breath, or two, or three, or 33, or 133. 

A deep breath is a signal to the body that "we are safe." This response is rooted deep in our DNA. Quite literally, a deep breath was a luxury only afforded to ancestors who survived being chased by a saber-toothed tiger. While today we are not literally being chased, our response to a stressful event (or even an intense stressful thought) is nearly exactly the same. 

Breathing training (and other forms of meditation) can be an extremely powerful tool to increase the awareness of thoughts that promote chronic stress (or promote calm). Breathing training also increases the effectiveness for us to relax (or shed the stress response) on command. 

A great way to begin a breathing training program is to take 10 consecutive breaths once a day for 10 days. If your mind wanders so far away from the breath that you can't remember what number you're on, start over. Next, do the same process for 20 breaths for 20 days.

Preparation is one of the cornerstones for prolonged success in life. Preparing to effectively work with stress will certainly pay dividends in the days, months, years to come. 

Enjoy the simple joys, one breath at a time.

Follow Michael Gervais, Ph.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/michaelgervais

Today Is Mother's Day

"Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother."

~ Oprah Winfrey

Improve Your Health Through Mindfulness

By:  Laurie ErdmanChief Energy Officer, LaurieErdman.com; Creator, Burnt Out To Balanced System

5 Ways You Can Use Mindfulness to Improve Your Health
Posted: 05/09/2013 9:35 am

"Health comes from inner peace" according to a talk I recently attended by the Dalai Lama. He makes it sound so simple. Doesn't inner peace sound easier than giving up French fries or learning how to make kale palatable?

But how do we cultivate inner peace and thus health? We start with mindfulness.

I've studied mindfulness for the past 20 years. With all my reading and meditation retreats, I thought I knew a lot about mindfulness. Three years ago, when my life depended on it, I realized I knew nothing. Having found myself burnt out and just diagnosed with a potentially debilitating autoimmune disease, I realized I needed to bring my knowledge of mindfulness and put it into practice to create my own inner peace and health.

The research is replete with evidence of how mindfulness helps us become healthy -- just in case you don't want to take the word of a globe trotting 77-year-old Buddhist monk. Mindfulness lowers blood pressure. Mindfulness can alleviate depression and anxiety. Mindfulness reduces cortisol levels. Mindfulness improves sleep quality.

While the benefits of mindfulness are part of our collective conscious, the idea of sitting in meditation evokes resistance for many. The good news we don't have to meditate to become mindful. Mindfulness can be practiced in everything we do. Below are five ways you begin to practice mindfulness and create inner peace and health.

1. Eating. In the Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh writes of being mindful while peeling and eating a tangerine. When we slow down while eating, noticing every bite, our body shifts out of the stress response and focuses on digestion, absorption and assimilation of all the nutrients. We eat less. We get healthy.

Mindfulness in action: Take in the food with all your senses. Become aware of the color, texture and smell of your food before popping it in your mouth. Then roll it around so you notice the texture and flavors. Begin to chew, chewing each bite at least 25 times. Notice how the texture and taste changes. Pause before your next bite.

2. Walking. We often hurry to get from one place to another. While rushing to get to our destination, we often can't remember the journey. Walking is a perfect way to practice mindfulness and experience more of life. Mindful walking increases flexibility, lowers blood pressure, and alleviates joint pain.

Mindfulness in action: Whether walking to a meeting, to your car or around your neighborhood, start by taking in a deep breath and then scanning your surroundings. Notice the air temperature, the way the light hits surfaces, any smells and sounds. As you walk, notice how your foot lands on the ground and how it lifts up. Notice the points of contact. Notice how your femur bones moves in your hip joint. Notice how your arms swing and how you hold your hands. Be aware of each sensation.

3. Doing dishes. Another mindfulness practice inspired by Thich Nhat Hanh is household chores. Being mindful during mundane tasks such as washing dishes, folding laundry, and emptying the trash allows us multitask (what every over-achiever desires to hear). Multitasking reduces our accuracy and productivity. Mindful cleaning, however, reduces stress and gets you a cleaner, healthier home.

Mindfulness in action: From the moment you start to stack the dishes to the moment you hang up the towel, notice every sensation. The sound of the water running, the sight of the bubbles, the smell of the dishwashing liquid, the sounds of the silverware hitting each other in the drainer, the feel of the dishes in your hands, the warmth of the water. Move slowly. Concentrate on the task, instead of you to do list.

4. Driving. Being mindful while driving is the ultimate in safety measures, yet something we rarely do. I commuted 45 minutes each way in traffic. I would notice that I often couldn't remember the drive once I got home. Yet driving is perfect multitasking way to practice mindfulness while doing something you have to anyway.

Mindfulness in action: Start your car. Turn off the radio. Turn off your phone. Look around. Know where are other cars are at all times. See the scenery. Be mindful of everything around you. Feel your feet on the pedals. Notice things you've never seen before. Tune into everything around you. Don't drive? You can also practice mindfulness on a train, bus or bike.

5. Checking e-mail. Practicing mindfulness at work is an advance technique for sure, but one worth mastering. There are unlimited distractions at work - new emails, phone calls, and co-workers stopping by. All these distractions limit our productivity and drain our energy. Each time we flip from one task to another, we slow ourselves down and then we wonder why we can't leave the office at 5. Practicing mindfulness while working will help you stay focused and complete tasks quicker and easier.

Mindfulness in action: Do one tasks at a time. If you are checking email, turn off everything including your browser and phone. Check one email then respond, delete or file it for future reference. Open the next one. Notice how you feel. What sensations come up in your body around certain e-mail. Notice if you feel anxious, nervous or angry. If you do, file that email away to answer later. Move on to the next email.

Mindfulness doesn't have to take a lot of time or be difficult. Know that it is a practice. If you find your mind straying toward your to do list while you are driving, don't beat yourself up, simply return your attention to the road. Others times you can practice mindfulness include: while talking with others, during your personal care routine, or during meetings. Pick one task where you will be mindful this week and being to practice. Mindfulness does a body good.

Follow Laurie Erdman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/LaurieErdman

"I'll Never Forget a Dog named Beau"

The dog poem that made Johnny Carson cry

Plucked from the TV archives: Watch as actor Jimmy Stewart shares a poem about his beloved dog, Beau. The year was 1981 on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson

By:  Michael Graham Richard Fri, May 10 2013 at 12:56 PM

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Back in 1981, legendary actor James “Jimmy” Stewart, the star of  “It's a Wonderful Life” and too many other classics to list here, went on “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson” to share his hobby: poetry. The piece that he read was titled "I’ll Never Forget a Dog Named Beau" about Stewart’s golden retriever.

At first, the poem made Johnny and the audience laugh, but it had a very different effect in the end. Describing it can’t do it justice; it’s something you have to see — and feel — for yourself, so check out the video and read the text below.

http://youtu.be/mwGnCIdHQH0  (Copy and Paste into Google)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwGnCIdHQH0&feature=youtu.be

Here’s the text of the poem:

He never came to me when I would call

Unless I had a tennis ball,

Or he felt like it,

But mostly he didn't come at all.

When he was young

He never learned to heel

Or sit or stay,

He did things his way.

Discipline was not his bag

But when you were with him things sure didn't drag.

He'd dig up a rosebush just to spite me,

And when I'd grab him, he'd turn and bite me.

He bit lots of folks from day to day,

The delivery boy was his favorite prey.

The gas man wouldn't read our meter,

He said we owned a real man-eater.

He set the house on fire

But the story's long to tell.

Suffice it to say that he survived

And the house survived as well.

On the evening walks, and Gloria took him,

He was always first out the door.

The Old One and I brought up the rear

Because our bones were sore.

He would charge up the street with Mom hanging on,

What a beautiful pair they were!

And if it was still light and the tourists were out,

They created a bit of a stir.

But every once in a while, he would stop in his tracks

And with a frown on his face look around.

It was just to make sure that the Old One was there

And would follow him where he was bound.

We are early-to-bedders at our house -- I guess I'm the first to retire.

And as I'd leave the room he'd look at me

And get up from his place by the fire.

He knew where the tennis balls were upstairs,

And I'd give him one for a while.

He would push it under the bed with his nose

And I'd fish it out with a smile.

And before very long He'd tire of the ball

And be asleep in his corner In no time at all.

And there were nights when I'd feel him Climb upon our bed

And lie between us,

And I'd pat his head.

And there were nights when I'd feel this stare

And I'd wake up and he'd be sitting there

And I reach out my hand and stroke his hair.

And sometimes I'd feel him sigh and I think I know the reason why.

He would wake up at night

And he would have this fear

Of the dark, of life, of lots of things,

And he'd be glad to have me near.

And now he's dead.

And there are nights when I think I feel him

Climb upon our bed and lie between us,

And I pat his head.

And there are nights when I think I feel that stare

And I reach out my hand to stroke his hair,

But he's not there.

Oh, how I wish that wasn't so,

I'll always love a dog named Beau.

A book titled “Why We Love the Dogs We Do: How to Find the Dog That Matches Your Personality” published in 2000 contains some information on what happened to Beau, Stewart’s beloved dog. Sadly, the poem isn’t fiction. Wikipedia summarizes it:

“While shooting a movie in Arizona, Stewart received a phone call from Dr. Keagy, his veterinarian, who informed him that Beau was terminally ill, and that Gloria sought his permission to perform euthanasia. Stewart declined to give a reply over the phone, and told Keagy to ‘keep him alive and I'll be there.’ Stewart requested several days' leave, which allowed him to spend some time with Beau before granting the doctor permission to euthanize the sick dog. Following the procedure, Stewart sat in his car for ten minutes to clear his eyes of tears. Stewart later remembered: ‘After [Beau] died there were a lot of nights when I was certain that I could feel him get into bed beside me and I would reach out and pat his head. The feeling was so real that I wrote a poem about it and how much it hurt to realize that he wasn’t going to be there any more.’”

I’m sure all you dog lovers out there know exactly how that must have felt.

Hat tip to the Reddit community for unearthing this gem!