Thursday, February 28, 2013

Overcoming Negative Self-Talk



Sedona by Kyle Krause

Turn Down Negative Self-Talk
By Joanne Barker

WebMD Feature Reviewed by Michael W. Smith, MD 

"I might as well face it, I'll always be fat." When Franco Beneduce hears a client say something like this, he knows he has his work cut out for him.

Beneduce is a certified life coach and group facilitator in San Francisco. As he coaches people on weight loss, body image, and successful life strategies, he sees how their self-talk -- the conversations people have in their heads -- either supports or undermines their progress toward their goals.

If you are a negative self-talker, you may not even be aware of it. Thinking the worst can be second nature after years of doing it. But it can be influencing how you live life and keeping you from getting the best out of it. Here's how to cut back on negative self-talk.

It's Not All in Your Head

Self-talk isn't just mindless chatter. It has a way of creating its own reality. Telling yourself you can do something can help it happen. Telling yourself you can't do something can make that come true. Tell yourself you'll never lose weight and it can be like eating a whole bag of chips. Tell yourself it's too hard to find another job and you’ll likely watch TV instead of updating your resume.

"Self-talk dictates how you relate to yourself and how you show up for other people," says Beneduce. Let's say you think you have nothing interesting to say. If you keep telling yourself that, other people are going to see you that way, too.

In fact, people who think negatively tend to be less outgoing and have weaker social networks than positive thinkers. Multiple studies link positive emotions with more satisfying relationships, more romance, and lower rates of divorce.

Avoid a Downward Spiral

Negative self-talk can be a runaway train. Your mind goes around in circles replaying a negative event or your own shortcomings. "People who ruminate dwell on negative feelings," says Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of California in Riverside. You may think that you're getting in touch with your true feelings, but bad feelings have a way of getting worse the more attention you give them.

The more you focus on negative events or shortcomings, the harder it is to put them behind you. Research shows that happy people do put bad days behind them. In a survey of 231 college students, those with a positive outlook were more likely to look back on negative events and report how much better things are for them now.

Turn Down Negative Self-Talk.  Talk Yourself Out of It.

Turn Down Negative Self-Talk
By Joanne Barker

WebMD FeatureReviewed by Michael W. Smith, MD"I might as well face it, I'll always be fat." When Franco Beneduce hears a client say something like this, he knows he has his work cut out for him.

Beneduce is a certified life coach and group facilitator in San Francisco. As he coaches people on weight loss, body image, and successful life strategies, he sees how their self-talk -- the conversations people have in their heads -- either supports or undermines their progress toward their goals.

If you are a negative self-talker, you may not even be aware of it. Thinking the worst can be second nature after years of doing it. But it can be influencing how you live life and keeping you from getting the best out of it. Here's how to cut back on negative self-talk.

It's Not All in Your Head

Self-talk isn't just mindless chatter. It has a way of creating its own reality. Telling yourself you can do something can help it happen. Telling yourself you can't do something can make that come true. Tell yourself you'll never lose weight and it can be like eating a whole bag of chips. Tell yourself it's too hard to find another job and you’ll likely watch TV instead of updating your resume.

"Self-talk dictates how you relate to yourself and how you show up for other people," says Beneduce. Let's say you think you have nothing interesting to say. If you keep telling yourself that, other people are going to see you that way, too.

In fact, people who think negatively tend to be less outgoing and have weaker social networks than positive thinkers. Multiple studies link positive emotions with more satisfying relationships, more romance, and lower rates of divorce.

Avoid a Downward Spiral

Negative self-talk can be a runaway train. Your mind goes around in circles replaying a negative event or your own shortcomings. "People who ruminate dwell on negative feelings," says Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of California in Riverside. You may think that you're getting in touch with your true feelings, but bad feelings have a way of getting worse the more attention you give them.

The more you focus on negative events or shortcomings, the harder it is to put them behind you. Research shows that happy people do put bad days behind them. In a survey of 231 college students, those with a positive outlook were more likely to look back on negative events and report how much better things are for them now.

Turn Down Negative Self-Talk.  Talk Yourself Out of It.

If negative self-talk came with an off switch, you could just flip it. But it doesn't. It takes a plan and some work to tone it down. Here are four ways to make it happen:

Distance yourself.

You can't banish negative self-talk forever, but you can take a step back from it. When you notice negative self-talk occurring, Beneduce says address it like you would an opinionated third party. You might say, "Thanks for sharing," or "It's interesting you feel that way" and move on.
Distract yourself. "Over-thinking involves focusing on a train of thought that goes around and around," Lyubomirsky says. "You can stop that train of thought by focusing on something else." Try playing basketball, doing a crossword puzzle, or any other activity that fully engages your mind.

Call them on it.

Give your negative thoughts the third-degree and they could crumble. You might ask yourself, "Is that really true?" or "Is there another way to look at this situation?" You may also look for benefits. If you missed that job promotion, are there any lessons for the future you can take from the situation? Or could another opportunity come out of it?

Save them for later.

Set aside a time of day for negative self-talk. If you hear yourself doubting, blaming, or comparing yourself to others at another time of day, tell yourself you will come back to the conversation later. When the appointed time arrives, your negative thoughts may have lost most of their oomph.

Make It Positive

Beneduce admits he's not immune to negative self-talk. When he works with large groups, he knows everyone will be watching him. If he's on, the day will go well, but if he's off, he flops. So going in, he tells himself, "I am confident. I have the skills I need. I am going to trust myself." Sometimes he'll write three words on a piece of paper to reinforce it. Throughout the day, he glances at them: "Fun. Smart. Effective." And that is what he projects.


Sunday, February 24, 2013

Cherish Her Memory and let it live on.

Mute Swan by Victoria Wison-Schwiltz


“You can shed tears that she is gone, 
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, 
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, 
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

David Harkins (British Poet and Painter b. 1958)


Saturday, February 23, 2013

Life on a Train



A while back , I read a very interesting book that compared life to a train ride or a series of train rides.  

Life is like a train ride, it read.  We get on.  We ride.  We get off.  We get back on and ride some more.  There are accidents and there are delays.  At certain stops there are surprises.  Some of these will translate into great moments of joy, some will result in profound sorrow.  

When we are born and we first board the train, we meet people whom we think will be with us for the entire journey.  Those people are our parents!

Sadly, this is far from the truth.

Our parents are with us for as long as we absolutely need them.  They too have journeys they must complete.  We live on with the memories or their love, affection, friendship, guidance and their ever presence.

There are others who board the train and who eventually become very important to us, in turn.

These people are our brothers, sisters, friends and acquaintances, whom we will learn to love, and cherish.

Some people consider their journey like a jaunty tour.  They will just go merrily along.

Others will encounter many upsets, tears, losses on their journey.

Others still will linger on to offer a helping hand to anyone in need.

Some people on the train will leave an everlasting impression when they get off...

Some will get on and get off the train so quickly, they will sparsely leave a sign that they ever traveled along with you or ever crossed your path...

We will sometimes be upset that some passengers, who we love, will choose to sit in another compartment and leave us to travel on our own.

Then again, there's nothing that says we can't seek them out anyway.

Nevertheless, once sought out and found, we may not even be able to sit next to them because that seat will already be taken.

That's okay...everyone's journey will be filled with hopes, dreams, challenges, setbacks and goodbyes.

We must strive to make the best of it...no matter what...

We must constantly strive to understand our travel companions and look for the best in everyone.

Remember that at any moment during our journey, any one of our travel companions can have a weak moment and be in need of our help.

We too may vacillate or hesitate, even trip...
Hopefully we can count on someone being there to be supportive and understanding...

The bigger mystery of our journey is that we don't know when our last stop will come.

Neither do we know when our travel companions will make their last stop.

Not even those sitting in the seat next to us.

Personally, I know I'll be sad to make my final stop...I'm sure of it!

My separation from all those friends and acquaintances I made during the train ride will be painful.  Leaving all those I'm close to will be a sad thing.  But then again, I'm certain that one day i"ll get to the main station only to meet up with everyone else.  They'll all be carrying their baggage...most of which they didn't have when they first got on this train.

I'll be glad to see them again.  I'll also be glad to have contributed to their baggage...and to have enriched their lives, just as much as they will have contributed to my baggage and enriched my life.

We're all on this train ride together.  Above all, we should all try to strive to make the ride as pleasant and memorable as we can, right up until we each make the final stop and leave the train for the last time.

All aboard!  Safe journey!!  BON VOYAGE! 

The author of this piece is unconfirmed.  It was said to have been written by a Dr. Robert W. Schwarzmueller.


Life Is A Gift...Unwrap It !



     How quickly our lives can change.  We take so much for granted ... our comfortable day-to-day routine, our family, friends, neighbors, sunrises, sunsets, the air we breathe, and the communities in which we live ... all the things that give us meaning in our lives.  Sound trite?  It's often only when we face a tragedy that we are reminded of our frailty as human beings and realize what really matters.

     How many people do you know who never seem to enjoy life, what they have or what they do?  They complain about how hard they work, wishing they could be doing something else.  They are always saying "someday" they will do things they would like to do, but they never get around to it.

     "Someday" they want to retire and spend time with their family; "someday" they are going to take a vacation with their family; "someday" they are going to take care of their health and lose weight and use the treadmill that still needs to be assembled; "someday" they want to volunteer at their kid's grade school; and on and on.

     If that day ever arrives, some find that the big family home they built is empty; junior is now 25 and has been living out of the house for the past five years; arthritis has set in; there are heart problems; travel is limited; father passed away without their visiting him for two years; and their elementary school daughter is now in high school and doesn't want them there.

     They have climbed the "mountain to success," 30 pounds overweight, working 16 hours a day, stressed out, not sleeping, self-medicating, with high blood pressure.  They get to the top, if they are still alive, but they find no one there.  They are alone, and they are lonely.

     Some are lucky enough to take stock of what is important early in their lives.  They realize that the real things are not things.  However, some never do, even when faced with a tragedy in their lives.  Some will see this as an end of their lives, complain about their losses and ask, "Why me?' and wait for things to happen to them.

     Then there are those who see "the hidden gift" when tragedy strikes.  They see it as a second chance to take stock of the real things that are important in life.  They rediscover that which they took for granted and begin relishing every moment as though it is their last, because, in fact, it could be just that.


     They hug their children more, in awe of the beauty within them, and the joy they bring to their lives.  They are more aware and appreciative of their senses ... smells, sounds and the touch of their loved ones.  They find that one of the greatest gifts you can give to someone is your time.  They are grateful that they are part of something beyond themselves, which gives greater meaning to their lives.

     Those who have learned the "hidden gift" in tragedy see those who are waiting for the "someday" when they can enjoy the gift of life, without the tragedy.  They wish they could tell them to take time to appreciate what they have now because there may not be a "someday."  There is only today.

     There is the urge to tell them to hug their kids more, celebrate the morning and evening clouds, enjoy the wonder of Mother Nature's different seasons; allow themselves to be vulnerable and have faith.  Or, maybe they resist the urge and let them discover, or not, the meaning of life on their own.

     In the end, we realize that living is about what we learned to value, and that being a part of something is more important than trying to be somebody.  It is not about material things, rather how we share, love and look after each other in the short time we are on this earth.

Enjoy Life's Gifts Now ... Don't Wait For 'Someday' !  by John Florez


Tell Me About Your Childhood.



Monday, February 18, 2013

NASA_Celestial Valentine


Saturday, February 16, 2013

Health & Illness Prevention for Your Pets


EXTENDING THE LIFE OF YOUR PET  
 By Justine Lee, DVN

1. A Terrific Toy
If you can't afford day care, a toy is the next best way to occupy your pet. For dogs, a treat-stuffed Kong toy provides hours of entertainment. For cats, try a sisal scratching post, feather on a string, or cat jungle gym. 

2. A Lifesaving Diet
On average, you can extend your dog's life by almost 2 years by reducing the calories he consumes.

3. Really Clean Litter
To prevent feline urinary tract disease, scoop the box once a day. Opt for clumping litter--and advise completely emptying and cleaning the box with bleach once every 3 to 6 months.

4. Playful Panting
Treat your dog to a daily stroll or jog around the block for at least 10 minutes (though 15 is better!). Cat owners, let your kitty go crazy chasing a laser pointer for 5 solid minutes each day. 

5. A DIY Dentist
Every Sunday, take 2 minutes to clean your pet's teeth. Purchase a rubber finger-tip toothbrush from your vet (and liver toothpaste--pastes made with fluoride can be toxic if swallowed) and brush! The risks of blood infection and heart and
metabolic problems are minimized by reducing plaque and tartar buildup.

6. Vaccines
Speak to your vet about skipping unneeded vaccines. Check out the List of Annual Pet Vaccines with your veterinarian and decide which one your pet really needs. Use the money for blood work to detect metabolic problems that can cause serious illness. 

http://www.prevention.com/health/healthy-living/are-annual-pet-vaccines-necessary



Friday, February 15, 2013

The Power of Touch


 Ah...the power of love and togetherness.


     This is a picture from an article called "The Rescuing Hug."  The article details the first week of life of a set of twins.  Apparently, each were in their respective incubators, and one was not expected to live.  A hospital nurse fought against hospital rules and placed the babies in one incubator.  When they were placed together the healthier of the two threw an arm over her sister in a endearing embrace.  The smaller baby's heart rate stabilized and her temperature rose to normal.

     This touching story about the healing power of sibling love made its appearance on the Internet in April 2000.

     Kyrie and Brielle Jackson were born on October 17 of 1995 at the Massachusetts Memorial Hospital in Worcester, MA.  Each of the twins weighed all of two pounds at birth.  Though Kyrie was putting on a bit of weight in the days following her arrival, Brielle was not doing as well.  She cried a great deal, leaving her gasping and blue-faced.  Brielle was having a particularly bad day.  NICU (Newborn Intensive Care Unit) nurse Gayle Kasparian tried everything to calm her.  She held her.  She had her dad hold her.  She wrapped her in a blanket.  She suctioned her nose.  Nothing worked.  Then, she remembered hearing about a procedure done in Europe.  She put Brielle in the incubator with her sister Kyrie.  Almost immediately, Brielle snuggled up to Kyrie.  Her blood-oxygen saturation levels which had been frighteningly low, soared.  She began to breathe more easily.  The frantic crying stopped and her normal pinkish color quickly returned.  Over the next weeks, her health improved steadily in her new, less lonely quarters.

     The children survived their rocky beginning and in time went home with their parents.  When last heard from, Brielle and Kyrie were healthy preschoolers.  The media attention brought about by their story and the now-famous photo caused their parents, Heidi and Paul Jackson of Westminster, to change their telephone number.

And famous that photo became.  Besides being circulated on the Internet, it has run in Life magazine and Reader's Digest.  The photo was taken by Chris Christo of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

The Jackson girls made history at Memorial.  According to that hospital, "The first co-bedding of twins occurred as an innovation from a staff nurse, Gayle Kasparian, RN."

Another method used to stabilize preemies is "kangaroo care," a term for prolonged skin-to-skin contact with parents and other caregivers.

The technique, so named because of its resemblance to the way pouched animals care for their young, involves skin-to-skin contact between parent and baby.  Often the child, wearing only a diaper and covered by a blanket, is placed against the parent's bare chest.

The method is especially effective with premature babies, who are extremely fragile and have almost tissue-thin skin when born.  Proponents say the method can have amazing effects:  a steadier heart rate, better breathing, greater contentment, deeper sleep.

"Everybody in the world knows you can take a crying baby and pick him up and he'll stop crying, "Susan Ludinton, professor of maternal and child health nursing at the University of Maryland at Baltimore, says.  "You put him down he starts crying again.  Babies, and they give us the message quite clearly, prefer to be held.  Now we are just finding out that when they are held, there are all these tremendous physiological benefits."


*Credits & References:
Urban Legends Reference Pages by Barbara and David P. Mikkelson, The [Durham] Herald-Sun, and Worcester Telegram & Gazette 


STRAY CAT RULES

Boris The Cat by Keith Mills
STRAY CAT RULES

1.  Stray cats will not be fed.

2.  Stray cats will only be fed dry cat food.

3.  Stray cats may have dry cat food moistened with a   
      little milk BUT that's all.

4.  Stray cats may have dry cat food moistened with 
      warm milk yummy treats and tuna.

5.  Stray cats absolutely will not be played with.

6.  All right, stray cats may be played with but will
      not be given a name.

7.  Tigger will not be allowed in the house.

8.  Tigger will be allowed in the house but only in the kitchen.

9.  Tigger may sleep in the living room in a blanket lined
      cardboard box.

10.Tigger will sleep in the special (kitty comfort) bed 
       with non allergenic lambs wool pillow.

11. Tigger will never be allowed to sleep on our bed.

12. Tigger may sleep on our bed, but never under the covers.

13. O.K., Tigger may sleep under the covers and on the pillows.

14. The kittens will NOT be allowed in the house.

         

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day


"Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved."
Victor Hugo


Monday, February 11, 2013

A Major Difference Between a Dog and a Cat...





"Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to you".

Mary Bly