Mother's Knowledge Was Wide-Ranging...

Mother's Knowledge Was Wide-Ranging and Entertaining

Mother taught us there's a time and place for everything: "If you are going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning the house."

Mother taught us religion: "You had better pray that the stuff you spilled will come out of the carpet."

Mother taught us logic: "Because I said so, that's why."

Mother taught us foresight: "Make sure you wear clean underwear. You never know when you might be in an accident and be taken to the hospital."

Mother taught us control: "Keep laughing, and I will give you something to cry about."

Mother taught us about the science of osmosis: "Shut your mouth, and eat your supper."

Mother taught us about being contortionist: "Look at the back of your neck. It's filthy."

Mother taught us about stamina: "You will sit there until all that spinach is finished."

Mother taught us about the weather: "Your room looks like it was hit by a tornado."

Mother taught us about straight talk: "If I told you once, I told you a million times, don't exaggerate."

Mother taught us self-control: "Don't go near the cake. I made it for my bridge club."

Mother taught us about behavior modification: "Please stop acting like your father."

Mother taught us: "It is more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help."

Mother taught us: "The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket."

Mother taught us: "A closed mouth gathers no foot."

Mother taught us: "Some days you are the bug and other days you are the windshield."

Mother taught us: "Never test the depth of the water with both feet."

Mother taught us: "If you always tell the truth, you won't have to remember what you said and to whom."

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