1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Reading what people write on desk can teach you a lot.
7) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
8) Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a breath mint.
9) Never hold a vacuum and a cat at the same time.
10) School lunches stick to the wall.
11) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts - no matter how cute the underwear is.
1998, Creators Syndicate
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