The ability to be alone with yourself.

Excerpt from The Winner's Notebook by Theodore Isaac Rubin, M.D.

This means that you enjoy people but also enjoy your own company. That you regard yourself as a human being and worthwhile company is an indication of much health. Not all people do. Some are terrified to be alone because alone is really alone--to them, it means being with nobody at all--and as such is an indication of very low self-esteem. The ability to be alone with yourself and to be self-energizing , self-stimulating and self-igniting--the ability to be either active or passive when alone but to know freedom from boredom and anxiety--at once makes you independent, self-reliant and thus a more mature, as well as an easier person with whom to have a relationship.

This year I plan on spending more time alone and in my own space and just dealing with my thoughts that I have kept locked up and overlooking in the previous year. Being alone is honestly not a bad thing and shouldn’t be frowned upon. Rather embrace your solitude and enjoy it… Learn to love yourself. Yes, this is a huge, HUGE request for some people. It’s not always easy to be accepting and loving of ourselves, but when you’re hanging out one-on-one with yourself, you better like who you’re hanging out with. I find that the reason a lot of people don’t want to be alone is because they don’t like themselves, they don’t find joy in spending time inside their own mind. If you want to be okay with being alone, you have to be okay with yourself. Do whatever you can do to get to a place where you love who you are, and then you’ll have a great time when you’re hanging out with just you! Find alone-time activities. Most people don’t like to be alone because they have no idea what to do with themselves when they’re alone, but, believe me, there are tons of activities you can get involved in that will make your time alone worthwhile. One thing I’d suggest first and foremost is this: don’t limit yourself. Okay, you might think you’re not a good writer or artist, but when was the last time you actually tried to do those things? Or what about going for a walk or a run? You might not think you’re athletic, but that’s only in your mind. Try to be open-minded about ideas and, if you really can’t think of anything you could do, ask other people what they do when they find themselves alone. Embrace your thoughts. One of the most intimidating things about alone time is that you’re alone… with your thoughts. Doing things and keeping busy all of the time is a great way to avoid thinking about things (especially things that might be bothering you!), but it really is a great feeling when you pause and listen to your thoughts without distractions. When you embrace what you are thinking and feeling, you can work towards accepting it and dealing with it. While this might not seem like the most fun thing in the whole world, it’s really important to take some time to yourself to think about what’s going on in your life and how it’s affecting you. Don’t judge your solitude. Often when we’re alone we think of it as a bad thing. We feel lonely or left out. But, remember, no one is judging your solitude other than you. If you think about it, you’ll realise that you have the power to place any label on your alone time that you want to. Want it to be a sad, negative experience? It will be. Want it to be a useful, positive experience? It will be. Whatever you want it to be, it will be. The choice is yours to make your alone time something that makes you happy, more productive, and more fulfilled as a person. Plan on spending more time embracing your solitude…