Come on, throw the ball!

Come on, throw the ball, throw the ball, I'm ready, yeah throw it!

A Dog And A Banjo...What a Concept!

"AS SOON AS A CHILD IS BORN,
HE OR SHE SHOULD BE ISSUED
A DOG AND A BANJO".


Charlie Brown

On the Highway of Life

Psychology From A Dogs Point Of View

...and the Prince lived happily ever after.

And as they rode off into the sunset,
the prince promised her his love, his riches and his castle in the clouds if only she would be his.

She agreed. Later, after the wedding, they discussed the running of the kingdom.

"The King, my father, is old and my blessed mother, the Queen, has long been gone and the castle is in terrible disarray," explained the Prince. "It needs the hand of a fine woman like yourself to straighten its many rooms and dust its many nooks and light its many fires and clean its many chimneys and sweep its many corridors and feed its many occupants and visitors.

Then, we shall have many sons so that they may run the kingdom long after I am gone. I can only hope that when they come of age, they will be as lucky as I in finding a good wife." And with that, they kissed and the Prince lived happily ever after.

Idle Thoughts Of A Wandering Mind

I had amnesia once...or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someones heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

If the world were a logical place, men would ride their horses sidesaddle.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

One nice thing about egotist: they don't talk about other people.

My weight is perfect for my height...which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

Is it me...or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

The Years Pass and Cinderella Is Now 75 Years Old

After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named (strangely enough) Bob, for companionship.

One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?" The Fairy Godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which you heart still yearns?" Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish: "I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension." Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Bob, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said, "Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother." The Fairy Godmother replied, "It is the least I can do. What does our heart want for your second wish?" Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said: "I wish I were young and full of the beauty of my youth again". At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful youth visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years. A long forgotten vigor and vitality began to course through her. Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke, "You have one more wish; what shall you have?" Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome your man." Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up, that when complete he stood before her, a man so masculine and enticing, the likes of which neither she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds began to fall from the sky at his feet. The Fairy Godmother again spoke, "Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life." And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone. For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect man she had ever seen. Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered...

... "Bet you're sorry you neutered me now."

Butterfly & Caterpillar

Explanation of Life

On the first day, God created the dog and said:
"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family For this, I will give you a life span of sixty Years."
The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:
"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But man said: "Only twenty years ? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.

Hank the Cat for Senate

Hank the cat runs for Senate, faces negative ad from dogs
The 9-year-old Maine Coon, who is running as an independent candidate for the U.S. Senate seat in Virginia, supports spaying-and-neutering programs.
By Laura MossWed, Mar 07 2012 at 1:14 PM EST 71

PURRFECT CANDIDATE: Hank's political career began when he was a write-in candidate in a recent state election in Virginia. (Photo: hankforsenate.com)
The Virginia Senate race is turning into quite the catfight now that Hank the cat has thrown his paw into the race.

Hank, a moderate, is a 9-year-old Maine Coon who is running as an independent against former Govs. George Allen (R) and Tim Kaine (D) for the state’s open Senate seat. A Virginia native, Hank has no previous political experience, but he has a wealth of life experience: Born to a single mother and raised on the streets, Hank clawed his way to the top and now lives a comfortable life with his owner, Anthony Roberts.

In fact, it’s Hank’s unique background that makes him such a qualified candidate, according to his campaign manager, Matthew O’Leary. “It definitely gives him a great insight into how difficult it is to live on the streets and to almost being put down. He realizes that the judicial system needs reworking and that there needs to be opportunities for everyone,” he says.

Hank, who has an affinity for cheese and plaid ties, supports spaying-and-neutering programs and job creation for Virginians, the latter of which is a hot issue for Allen and Kaine. The other Senate candidates have been embroiled in economic debates, which has given Hank a shot at sinking his claws into undecided voters.

Hank’s political career began when O’Leary ran the cat as a write-in candidate in a recent state election as a joke. The furry feline received nine votes, so Roberts and O’Leary launched Hank’s campaign. Since then, the cat’s sudden spate of publicity has crashed his website, HankForSenate.com.

In addition to his website, Hank’s campaign has been publicized on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube, and the politically minded feline has even done a television interview.

“There seems to be a whole lot of support right now,” O’Leary said. “He’s very hopeful that this grassroots support will explode and get a lot of people interested in him.”

But while Hank has refrained from mudslinging, he's recently become the target of a negative ad sponsored by Canines for a Feline-Free Tomorrow. The ad points out that Hank has never released his birth certificate or responded to allegations that he's used catnip, and that while Hank says he's been to the vet, there's no record of his serving in any military branch.

Despite these negative attacks, Hank has garnered a great deal of support, but he still faces one large political hurdle: Current regulations prohibit animals from serving in Congress. But if a dog can serve as mayor of a Kentucky town, surely it’s only a matter of time until we have a senator with whiskers. As Hank states on his website, "with hard work and dedication anyone can seize the opportunities."

Check out Hank's campaign commercial below to see how he'll work to make sure America stays "the greatest land of all."



Photos: HankForSenate.com

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