The Why and The Why Not

Winter Nebula

 

 

George Bernard Shaw once wrote,

 

"You see things; and you say 'Why?'

 

But I dream things that never were;

 

and I say 'Why not?'

 

 

 



The Inner Sparks of Possibility

Magnificent Falls By Kent R. Wallis


"Trust yourself.

Create the kind of self that

you will be happy to live with all your life.

Make the most of yourself

by fanning the tiny,

 inner sparks of possibility

into flames of achievement."

~ Golda Meir

 

* Golda Meir (earlier Golda Meyerson, born Golda Mabovitch. 

 

(May 3, 1898 - December 8, 1978)

 

She was an Israeli teacher, kibbutznik. politician and the

 

fourth Prime Minister of Israel.

 



 

The Mind is Everything

Painting by Amy Dixon

"All that we are is the result of what we

have thought.  The mind is everything.

What we think we become." 

~ Buddha
 

There is Pleasure In The Pathless Woods

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,

 

There is a rapture on the lonely shore,

 

There is society, where none intrudes,

 

By the deep sea, and music in its roar:

 

I love not man the less, but Nature more,

 

From these our interviews, in which I steal

 

From all I may be, or have been before,

 

To mingle with the Universe, and feel

 

What I can ne'er express, yet cannot all conceal.

 

~ George Gordon Byron

 

 

*

George Gordon Byron, 6th Baron Byron, later George Gordon Noel, 6th Baron Byron, FRS, commonly known simply as Lord Byron, was an English poet and a leading figure in the Romantic movement. Wikipedia

 



It's known as Life

 

 

 

6 Things Introverted Women Do Right

Huff Post Women

Article by, Galit Breen

Posted: 05/16/2014 10:14 am EDT Updated: 05/16/2014 10:59 am EDT 

"Let's go," he says, taking my hand -- more pulling than leading me along. My heels clip-clop on the damp sidewalk, the evening's storm lingers. But the cool air hits my face, my back, my shoulders as we leave the packed theatre. It's welcome. The sun has set, the rain has stopped and I immediately feel free as we shed the crowd.
 

Months of heart and work and crossed fingers led me onto a stage in front of 500 or so people last week. And when I was done, I was done.
 

While my friends and my love wanted to raise their filled glasses -- beer frothing, wine spilling -- I wanted to go home. My husband usually knows when this is the case, but every once in awhile, he hedges his bets and pushes -- shoves? -- me toward a way that's not my own.
 

But (almost) four decades in, I know my introverted self well and after spending a short time at the party, fondly observing the cheers I had no desire to join in on, I went home. Where I spent the next four days -- blissfully -- recovering.
 

And absolutely everything was right -- for me -- about that introverted response. I love being an introvert, here are six reasons why.
 

1. Introverts listen more than they talk. So they know -- really know -- how their people are doing. They understand what makes people tick, they connect the dots between vignettes that people share and thread them to create a roadmap of the people they love.
What introverts are doing right here: In a time when we hide behind screens and share best-case-scenario versions of ourselves, truly seeing someone and wanting to understand their story is a gift.
 

2. Introverts know when they need to shut down and that's exactly what they do. They understand self care and dive into it -- no excuses, apologies, or no thank yous to be found.
What introverts are doing right here: This world moves quickly, finding stillness within it is a skill.
 

3. Introverts know how to be by themselves. They require alone time to refill their energy stores and get back to even, to the point where they have the ability to be with others. Loving people but being content without them is something that people spend their angsty 20s -- and 30s, and maybe some of their 40s? -- striving for. Unless they're introverts.
What introverts are doing right here:
 Introverts understand how to be alone without being lonely.
 

4. Introverts pick the people they surround themselves with carefully. Unsupportive, unkind, take more than they give are traits that that drain and introverts already deplete quickly. They know when to cut their losses with a relationship. Introverts aren't hasty, but they do understand the "let go of the things -- and people -- that aren't serving you" mantra well.
What introverts are doing right here: Surrounding yourself with good people is both a lift and a gift that everyone deserves.

5. Introverts are sensitive to how others are feeling. Writer Lindsey Mead calls this being porous -- feeling the sting of other people's hurts.
What introverts are doing right here: This world is so peppered with sadness, kids -- and adults -- being bullied, misunderstood, asked to be who they're really not, that I have to believe that, while sometimes painful, tricky and difficult, being sensitive to others is a positive.
 

6. Introverts engage in a lot of self talk. A lot of self talk. Their brains are constantly swirling with ideas and thoughts and opinions. And because they process better alone than with others, when they're ready to share, their words aren't careless.
What introverts are doing right here: They only talk when they actually have something to say.

 

Like most personality traits, there's an introverted-extroverted spectrum that people fall on. How often you do these things -- among others -- compared with how often you do their opposites tells you whether you lean toward extroversion or introversion.
 

Either way, it's so easy to beat yourself up for who and how and what you are, isn't it?
 

For introverts, it's questioning not always -- ever? -- being the last one at the party, or the first one for that matter, for choosing a book instead of an outing, mismatched jammies instead of a LBD, slippers instead of heels. For needing equal "off" time to balance "on" time.
 

But our puzzle pieces fit together with room for all of our positives and these are just 6 of the traits that I think introverts can go ahead and (proudly) claim.
 

Are you more introverted or extroverted? What trait do you love about being either one?

 Follow Galit Breen on Twitter: www.twitter.com/GalitBreen

 

 



It is absurd...

 



Tabula rasa

 

We all start with a blank canvas on

which to paint out life.

 

We add paint to our canvas

 through a process of the choices

we make and our inner guidance.

 

 

 

5 Secret Powers of Eye Contact

Cutting-Edge Leadership

The best in current leadership research and theory, from cultivating charisma to transforming your organization

by Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D.

5 Secret Powers of Eye Contact
Surprising reasons why the eyes always have it.
Published on April 3, 2014 by Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D. in Cutting-Edge Leadership

There has been considerable research on how nonverbal cues, particularly those coming from the eyes, affects our behavior.
Here are 5 interesting results:

1. Eye-to-Eye Contact Causes Arousal.
Staring directly into someone’s eyes causes an arousal reaction. How that arousal is interpreted, however, depends on the parties involved and the circumstances. Being stared at by a stranger who appears large or ominous can be seen as a threat and elicit a fear response. This is common in social animals. A direct stare from a human to a dog or an ape can be interpreted as a threat from the large (and strange) human. However, the gaze of a potential sexual partner causes arousal that can be interpreted positively—as a sexual invitation.

2. The Eyes Will Tell You if a Smile is Real or Not.
Psychologist Paul Ekman has distinguished between smiles that represent genuine happiness (“Duchenne” smiles) and fake smiles that might be used to feign happiness, or cover some other emotion. The key to telling a fake smile from a real one is in the eyes. When forming real smiles, the eyes narrow and create lines, or “crow’s feet,” at the outer corners.

3. Pupil Dilation is a Sign of Interest (and It Can Make You Sexy).
When we are interested in something or someone our pupils will dilate. In one study, a woman’s eyes were altered to make her pupils look dilated. The exact same photos of the woman with dilated eyes was rated as more attractive than those with normal-size pupils.

4. Mutual Gaze is a Sign of Love.
Research on love and attraction has found that mutual gaze—staring into each other’s eyes—is a good predictor of two individuals being “in love.”

5. Eye Contact is a Valid Cue to Deception, But Not in the Way That You Think.
Everyone assumes that a liar won’t look you in the eye, but research on the nonverbal cues associated with deception suggests that a liar engages in more eye contact than a truth-teller. The explanation is that the deceiver goes the extra mile to try to convince you of his or her veracity and so “overdoes” the eye contact in order to appear truthful.

 Read more about nonverbal communication and your ability to master nonverbal cues here.
Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ronriggio

Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D., is the Henry R. Kravis Professor of Leadership and Organizational Psychology at Claremont McKenna College.

 

My Miracle

 

Sometimes when I need a miracle,

 

I look into my son's eyes, and realize

 

I've already created one.  ♥

 



The Humane Protection of All Creatures

 



7 Reasons Why Introverts Rock In Middle Age

The Huffington Post  | by  Ann Brenoff

            

Posted: 05/07/2014 5:56 am EDT Updated: 05/08/2014 11:59 am EDT 

 

 

Yellow Dog Productions via Getty Images

 

Everybody thinks those boisterous types are the life of the party, right? Sure they command center stage with their booming voices and back-slapping ways, but we know the real winners of the mid-life game and they are the introverts. Here's why:

 

1. When their friends want to fix them up, they know how to demur politely.
Sure they may be spending the evening with their two favorite men -- Ben & Jerry -- but more often than not, that carton of Cherry Garcia is a better conversationalist than their friend's freshly divorced second cousin.
 

The thing about middle-age introverts is that they've learned how to enjoy their own company. A good book, an unwatched Netflix series, and a restaurant that delivers are often the only ingredients they need for a satisfying weekend. Don't underestimate the ability to amuse yourself.

Introverts are sometimes mistaken for being shy or awkward in social situations. Don't forget the third option: Alone by choice and fine with it.

 

2. They understand that you don't need to just recharge from work, but from being sociable too.
Introverts know that smiling constantly hurts your face after a while and being forced to continuously make small talk with people you don't know has probably been linked to migraines in some study somewhere.
 

Recharging isn't just something you need to do after working too hard. Creating space for yourself is equally important. Being "on" involves effort, and everyone needs to be able to turn it off once in a while. Introverts are better at turning it off.

 

3. They are better at being more selective.
Introverts understand that you can have strong social skills, but still wish you were home in your pajamas. They may attend and even enjoy parties and business meetings, author of "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" Susan Cain has said, but they prefer to devote their real social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. By the time you reach middle age, this weeding process should be well underway in all of us -- including extroverts. Life is about figuring out your priorities and not wasting time on the ones -- or the people -- that don't matter. Introverts have been doing this their whole lives.

 

4. They know that the ceiling on house guests is two nights.
Introverts have mastered the art of discouraging out-of-town visitors from spending a week camped out in their family room. They just don't offer, that's how. And when their college roommate calls to announce she and her family will be in town next month, they respond with "That's great! Do you need some help finding a nice hotel?" If this isn't an admirable skill, we don't know what is.
 

It certainly beats being the person we know who bought a beach house for solitude and instead caters to non-stop house-guests all summer. "It's fun for awhile," she says, "and I'm glad they all have a nice vacation -- but I wind up exhausted from entertaining them."

 

5. They don't feel obligated to rush in and fill the pause.
Silence isn't awkward or uncomfortable for introverts. They are perfectly happy letting someone else assume the responsibility for the conversation. It's a life skill that comes in handy on multiple occasions. They listen better, more deeply, don't rush to say the first thing that comes into their head.

By not assuming ownership of every conversation, they learn more. It makes sense: Nobody ever learned anything by talking, right?

 

6. They don't need to have their nose in everyone's business.
Introverts understand that sometimes just observing a conflict from afar is more interesting and fulfilling than becoming involved in it directly. They also appreciate that by doing this, they sometimes become the trusted friend to which both halves of the divorcing couple turn. Why pick sides if you don't have to?

 

7. They have no interest in gossip.
Gossip, at its best, is a conversation gap filler. It's what happens when people run out of ideas to talk about so they switch to talking about people. This alone makes introverts morally superior people.

      

     

 

Request from an Alzheimer's Patient

 

 

Do not ask me to remember, don't ty to make me understand.

Let me rest and know you're with me,

kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I'm confused beyond your concept, I'm sad and sick and lost.

All I know is that I need you, to be with me at all cost.

Do not lose your patience with me, do not scold or curse or cry.

I can't help the way I'm acting, I can't be different though I try.

Just remember that I need you, that the best of me is gone.

Please don't fail to stand beside me, love me 'till my life is gone.

~ Author Unknown




AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

Night Cat by Tatyana Rodionova

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
by Portia Nelson

 

I

I walk, down the street.

 

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

 

I fall in

 

I am lost ... I am helpless

 

It isn't my fault.

 

I takes forever to find a way out.

 

II

 

I walk down the same street.

 

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

 

I pretend I don't see it.

 

I fall in again.

 

I can't believe I am in the same place.

 

but, it isn't my fault.

 

It still takes a long time to get out.

 

III

 

I walk down the same street

 

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

 

I see it is there.

 

I still fall in ... it's a habit.

 

my eyes are open.

 

I know where I am.

 

It is my fault.

 

I get out immediately.

 

IV

 

I walk down the same street.

 

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

 

I walk around it.

 

V

 

I walk down another street.

 

There Exist Only A Thin Line Between Failure And Success



Reflected Scroll by Balogh



 

THE ONLY FAILURE...

 

Genius is only the power of making continuous efforts.

 

The line between failure and success is so fine that

 

we scarcely know when we pass it;  so fine that

 

we are often on the line and do not know it.  How many

 

a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more

 

effort, a little more patience, would have achieved success.

 

As the tide goes clear out, so it comes clear in.  In

 

business, sometimes prospects may seem darkest when they are on

 

 the turn.  A little more persistence, a little more effort, and

 

what seemed hopeless failure may turn into glorious success.

 

There is no failure except in no longer trying.  There is no defeat

 

except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save

 

our own weakness of purpose.

 

~Author unknown

 

 

 

Life is like an onion...

Valadimir Volegov * Walking in the Surf


"Life is like an onion;

you peel off one layer at a time

and sometimes you weep."

~Carl Sandburg
January 6, 1879 - July 22, 1967


 

Over A Lifetime

 

"Every little thing you do adds up, and before you know it,

 

you've created your life.  And how you create your life

 

ripples out and affects everyone and everything that

 

crosses your path, known or unknown to you."

 

 

~ Kathy Freston

 



You are...

 

"You are the books you read, the films you watch,

 the music you listen to, the people you meet,

 the dreams you have, the conversations you engage in.

 

You are what you take from these.

 

You are the sound of the ocean, the breath of fresh air,

 

 the brightest light and the darkest corner.

 

You are a collective of every experience you have had in your life. 

 

You are every single day.  You are every hour,

 

every minute and second of each day.

 

So drown yourself in a sea of knowledge and existence.

 

Let the words run through your veins and let the colors fill your mind."

 

~ Author Unknown

 

 

 



NAMASTE



11 Resolutions For a Better You ___ Proven by Science

 

Boynton Canyon, Arizona

11 Resolutions For a Better You—Proven by Science
Written by joshua becker

“Good habits make all the difference.” —Aristotle

It is wise for each of us, from time to time, to stop and evaluate our lives as we seek to make the most of them.  The start of a calendar year provides an opportunity to look back at the decisions that shaped our lives during the past year and gives us an extra push to make adjustments for the next one. Birthdays can often serve the same purpose. These moments represent a natural opportunity to evaluate the direction of our lives, adjust course if necessary, adopt new habits, or make healthy changes.

Regardless of the time of year, self-evaluation is important. Consider then, these 11 resolutions for a better you—proven by science. It is, after all, our habits that determine the course of our lives.

1. Exercise. Most of us recognize the benefits of physical exercise: healthy bodies, healthy minds, and healthy confidence. Some studies indicate exercise contributes to a positive body image even prior to any body weight or shape change—with as little as two weeks of regular exercise. And with increasing study centered around the effectiveness of minimalist workouts, each of us should be able to find the time to get started.

2. Less television. Those seeking intentionality realize the negative influence television has on their mind: it impacts our worldview, encourages consumerism, oversimplifies life, and results in less life satisfaction. Even more drastic, scientists are beginning to discover the habit of watching too-much television may be negatively impacting our life expectancy as well. Nobody is telling you to throw your television in the nearest dumpster, but deciding to cut back in the next year may be one of the best decisions you could ever make.

3. Go outside. According to recent studies published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology, simply spending time outside with nature contributes to increased energy, wards off feelings of exhaustion, and results in a heightened sense of well-being. Of course, simply walking from your front door to the car door doesn’t count. So make a point this coming year to find an excuse to be outside—you can always start with a simple walk around the block each evening.

4. Read fiction. Recently, researchers have begun studying the physical impact reading stories has on our brain. As you might expect, they are discovering reading results in heightened connectivity and brain activity—sometimes, even up to 5 days after the book has been completed. If you read fiction, you already know this to be true. If you don’t, this could be your year to start. You may enjoy beginning with The Hunger Games or Divergent.

5. Give. Numerous studies show charitable giving boosts happiness and reduces stress—especially when the generosity promotes positive social connection. If you don’t already, find a cause or person you believe in and offer them consistent monthly support. They will benefit. You will benefit. And the world will be a better place.

6. Serve. Volunteering provides great value for our lives and the lives of those we choose to enrich. One study from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, Harvard Business School, and the Yale School of Management found that when a person volunteers his or her time, they begin to feel like they have more time and are more efficient. Additionally, volunteers feel better about themselves, experience lower stress levels, and develop a deeper connection with others. The golden number appears to be 100 hours per year (2 hours/week).

7. Buy less stuff and more experiences. In studies presented at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, researchers suggest that buying life experiences rather than material possessions leads to greater happiness for both the consumer and those around them. Decide today to spend less money this year on possessions and more money on meaningful, memorable experiences. You’ll be glad you did in more ways than one.

8. Display gratitude. Psychologists have scientifically proven that one of the greatest contributing factors to overall happiness in your life is how much gratitude you show. And it can be experienced with as little as three expressions each day (“Thank you for…”). Getting started is so easy and  beneficial. It could be the easiest decision you make all year.

9. Practice smiling. In a fascinating study conducted at the Michigan State Business School, customer service professionals who fake a smile throughout the day worsen their mood. But people who smile as a result of cultivating positive thoughts improve their mood and withdraw less. Simply put, one easy way to improve your mood throughout the next year is to intentionally recall pleasant memories or think more positively about your current situation—and then smile because of it.

10. Stop and just play. Our world is becoming increasingly busy and the temptation to measure our worth by external factors continues to grow. As a result, taking time to slow down and just play is becoming increasingly rare. But play is fun and enjoyable. Play enriches the lives of children by exercising their mind and body. And it has the same positive effect on adults. So make an extra point to just slow down and play constructively with your friends or kids.

11. Determine to be happy. Two experimental studies published in The Journal of Positive Psychology this past year offer ground-breaking research on the cultivation of happiness. Based on the experiments, participants who listened to “happy” music and actively tried to feel happier reported the highest level of positive mood afterwards—more so than those who simply listened to the music. In other words, determining to be happy is a productive decision towards achieving it.

Adopting 11 new habits at one time is almost certainly too much to ask. But choose one or two specifically. And then, give it 29 days. You’ll be surprised how quickly they become habit.




http://www.becomingminimalist.com/

 

 



Set your priorities.

 

 

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed..

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.