Human Intelligence According to Stephen B. Leacock

Painting by Edouard Leon Cortes



"Advertising may be described

 as the science of arresting the human intelligence

long enough to get money from it."

 

~Stephen Butler Leacock

 

Stephen Leacock
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Stephen Butler Leacock, FRSC (30 December 1869 – 28 March 1944) was an English-born Canadian teacher, political scientist, writer, and humourist. In the early part of the 20th century he was the best-known humorist in the English-speaking world.[1] He is known for his light humour along with criticisms of people’s follies.[2] The Stephen Leacock Memorial Medal for Humour was named in his honour.

A Wise Man

 

 

 

"He is a wise man who does not grieve

 

 for the things which he has not,

 

but rejoices for those which he has."

 

~Epictetus

Life Is A Gift...Unwrap It !

 

Painting by Artist Sandra Kuck

 

 

ENJOY LIFE'S GIFTS RIGHT NOW...  

 DON'T WAIT FOR 'SOMEDAY'!

 

     How quickly our lives can change.  We take so much for granted ... our comfortable day-to-day routine, our family, friends, neighbors, sunrises, sunsets, the air we breathe, and the communities in which we live... all the things that give us meaning in our lives.  Sound trite?  It's often only when we face a tragedy that we are reminded of our frailty as human beings and realize what really matters.

 

     How many people do you know who never seem to enjoy life, what they have or what they do?  They complain about how hard they work, wishing they could be doing something else.  They are always saying "someday" they will do things they really would like to do, but they never get around to it.

 

     "Someday" they want to retire and spend time with their family; "someday" they are going to take a vacation with their family; "someday" they are going to take care of their health and lose weight and use the treadmill that still needs to be assembled; "someday" they want to volunteer at their kid's grade school; and on and on.

 

     If that day ever arrives, some find that the big family home they built is empty; junior is now 25 and has been living out of the house for the past five years; arthritis has set in; there are heart problems; travel is limited; father passed away without their visiting him for two years; and their elementary school daughter is now in high school and doesn't want them there.

 

     They have climbed the "mountain to success,"  30 pounds overweight, working 16 hours a day, stressed out, not sleeping, self-medicating, with high blood pressure.  They get to the top, if they are still alive, but they find no one there.  They are alone, and they are lonely.

     Some are lucky enough to take stock of what is important early in their lives.  They realize that the real things are not things.  However, some never do, even when faced with a tragedy in their lives.  Some will see this as an end of their lives, complain about their losses and ask, "Why me?" and wait for things to happen to them.

 

     Then there are those who see "the hidden gift" when tragedy strikes.  They see it as a second chance to take stock of the real things that are important in life.  They rediscover that which they took for granted and begin relishing every moment as though it is their last, because, in fact, it could be just that.

     They hug their children more, in awe of the beauty within them, and the joy they bring to their lives.  They are more aware and appreciative of their senses ... smells, sounds and the touch of their loved ones.  They find that one of the greatest gifts you can give to someone is your time.  They are grateful that they are part of something beyond themselves, which gives greater meaning to their lives.

     Those who have learned the "hidden gift" in tragedy see those who are waiting for the "someday" when they can enjoy the gift of life, without the tragedy.  They wish they could tell them to take time to appreciate what they have now because there may not be a "someday."  There is only today.

 

     There is the urge to tell them to hug their kids more, celebrate the morning and evening clouds, enjoy the wonder of Mother Nature's different seasons; allow themselves to be vulnerable and have faith.  Or, maybe they resist the urge and let them discover, or not, the meaning of life on their own.

 

     In the end, we realize that living is about what we learned to value, and that being a part of something is more important than trying to be somebody.  It is not about material things, rather how we share, love and look after each other in the short time we are on this earth.

 

LIFE IS A GIFT...UNWRAP IT!

 

By John Florez

 

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year !

 

Don't Forget Your Outdoor Pets

 

FOOD, WATER & SHELTER

are important during cold weather !

 

 

Imagination

by Cindy Grundsten

 

"Imagination will often carry us

 

 to worlds that never were.

 

But without it we go nowhere."

 

 ~ Carl Sagan

  



Carl Edward Sagan

Born:  November 9, 1934 

Brooklyn, New York

Died:  December 20, 1996 (aged 62)

Seattle, Washington, US

Residence:  United States

Nationality:  American

Fields:  Astronomy, astrophysics, cosmology, astrobiology, space science, planetary science

Institutions: 

Cornell University

Harvard University

Smithsonian Astrophysical Observatory

University of California, Berkeley

Alma mater:  University of Chicago (B.A.), (BSc), (MSc), PhD)

 

 

STOP Animal Cruelty !

 

 

A Cat Named Ugly

Ugly The Cat

Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who UGLY was.  Ugly was the resident tomcat.  Ugly loved three things in this world:  fighting, eating garbage, and, shall we say, love.

The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly.  To start with, he had only one eye, and where the other one should have been was a gaping hole.  He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot has appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner.  His tail has long since been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch.

Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, even his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs.  Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction.  "That's one UGLY cat!"

All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave.

Ugly always had the same reaction.  If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there, getting soaked until you gave up and quit.  If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around feet in forgiveness.  Whenever he spied children, he would come running meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love.  If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbors huskies.  They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled.  From my apartment I could hear his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid.  By the time I got to where he was laying it was apparent Ugly's sad life was almost at an end.
 

Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front.  As I picked him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling.  I must be hurting him terribly I thought.
 

Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear - Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear.  I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring.  Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battle-scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion.
 

At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen.  Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get  away from me, or struggle in any way.  Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.
 

Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly.  Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful.
 

He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply.  To give my total trust and compassion to those I cared for.
 

Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me, I will always try to be Ugly.

 http://youtu.be/G.vgtuC3Zg4

 

 

Lunar Science Mission

NASA Moon Dust Probe

http://www.takequickbreak.com/articlenasamoondustprobe/

NASA’s newest lunar probe has officially begun its mission to study the moon’s tenuous atmosphere like never before, as well as track how dust moves across the lunar sky.

The Lunar Atmosphere and Dust Environment Explorer, nicknamed LADEE for short, entered its science orbit on Wednesday (Nov. 20). The spacecraft now circles the moon once every two hours in an orbit, approaching within a mere 8 miles (12 kilometers) at its closest point and soaring 37 miles (60 km) overhead at its highest point, NASA officials said.

The $280 million LADEE spacecraft launched from a Virginia spaceport Sept. 6 and is expected to spend about 100 days probing the structure and composition of the thin atmosphere of the moon.  [Photos: NASA's LADEE Moon Dust Mission in Pictures]

Our Biggest Threats

 

Solitude by David Winston

 “Our biggest threat is not an asteroid about to crash into us, something we can do nothing about. Instead, all the major threats facing us today are problems entirely of our own making. And since we made the problems, we can also solve the problems.” 

~ Jared Mason Diamond

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

Jared Mason Diamond (born September 10, 1937) is an American scientist and author best known for his popular science books The Third Chimpanzee (1991), Guns, Germs, and Steel (1997, awarded a Pulitzer Prize), Collapse (2005) and The World Until Yesterday (2012). Originally trained in physiology, Diamond's work is known for drawing from a variety of fields, including anthropology, ecology, geography, and evolutionary biology. As of 2013, he is Professor of Geography at the University of California, Los Angeles.[1][2] He has been described as "America’s best-known geographer".[3]

Diamond was born in Boston, Massachusetts. His father, Louis K. Diamond, was a physician, and his mother, Flora Kaplan, a teacher, linguist, and concert pianist. Diamond himself began studying piano at age six; years later he would propose to his wife after playing the Brahms Intermezzo in A minor for her.[4] He attended the Roxbury Latin School and earned a Bachelor of Arts from Harvard College in 1958 and a PhD on the physiology and biophysics of membranes in the gall bladder from Trinity College, University of Cambridge in 1961.[1][5]

From Ancient India



Twilight by Rikka Ayasaki



“Believe nothing,

no matter where you read it, or who said it,

no matter if I have said it,

unless it agrees with your own reason

and your own common sense.”

 

~ Buddha

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

  (Redirected from Buddha)

Buddha Gautama Buddha - A spiritual teacher from ancient India who founded Buddhism. In most Buddhist traditions, he is regarded as the Supreme Buddha, “Buddha” meaning “awakened one” or “the enlightened one.” The time of his birth and death are uncertain: Some say, 563 BCE to 483 BCE, others say, 486 and 483 BCE according to some, 411 and 400 BCE…

 

 

Protecting Our Pets During The Holidays

The holidays can be dangerous for pets, so we need to take extra precautions to keep them safe from weather-related problems, poisoning, foreign body ingestion and more.

 Holiday Safety Tips

 

Published on ASPCA (http://www.aspca.org)

 

Holly, Jolly and Oh-So-Safe! Of course you want to include your furry companions in the festivities, pet parents, but as you celebrate this holiday season, try to keep your pet's eating and exercise habits as close to their normal routine as possible. And be sure to steer them clear of the following unhealthy treats, toxic plants and dangerous decorations:

 

O Christmas Tree Securely anchor your Christmas tree so it doesn't tip and fall, causing possible injury to your pet. This will also prevent the tree water—which may contain fertilizers that can cause stomach upset—from spilling. Stagnant tree water is a breeding ground for bacteria and your pet could end up with nausea or diarrhea should he imbibe.

 

Tinsel-less Town

Kitties love this sparkly, light-catching "toy" that's easy to bat around and carry in their mouths. But a nibble can lead to a swallow, which can lead to an obstructed digestive tract, severe vomiting, dehydration and possible surgery. It's best to brighten your boughs with something other than tinsel.

 

No Feasting for the Furries

By now you know not to feed your pets chocolate and anything sweetened with xylitol, but do you know the lengths to which an enterprising fur kid will go to chomp on something yummy? Make sure to keep your pets away from the table and unattended plates of food, and be sure to secure the lids on garbage cans.

 

Toy Joy

Looking to stuff your pet's stockings? Choose gifts that are safe.
•Dogs have been known to tear their toys apart and swallowing the pieces, which can then become lodged in the esophagus, stomach or intestines. Stick with chew toys that are basically indestructible, Kongs that can be stuffed with healthy foods or chew treats that are designed to be safely digestible.

•Long, stringy things are a feline's dream, but the most risky toys for cats involve ribbon, yarn and loose little parts that can get stuck in the intestines, often necessitating surgery. Surprise kitty with a new ball that's too big to swallow, a stuffed catnip toy or the interactive cat dancer—and tons of play sessions together.

 Forget the Mistletoe & Holly

Holly, when ingested, can cause pets to suffer nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. Mistletoe can cause gastrointestinal upset and cardiovascular problems. And many varieties of lilies, can cause kidney failure in cats if ingested. Opt for just-as-jolly artificial plants made from silk or plastic, or choose a pet-safe bouquet.

 Leave the Leftovers

Fatty, spicy and no-no human foods, as well as bones, should not be fed to your furry friends. Pets can join the festivities in other fun ways that won't lead to costly medical bills.

 That Holiday Glow

Don't leave lighted candles unattended. Pets may burn themselves or cause a fire if they knock candles over. Be sure to use appropriate candle holders, placed on a stable surface. And if you leave the room, put the candle out!

Wired Up
Keep wires, batteries and glass or plastic ornaments out of paws' reach. A wire can deliver a potentially lethal electrical shock and a punctured battery can cause burns to the mouth and esophagus, while shards of breakable ornaments can damage your pet's mouth.

 

House Rules
If your animal-loving guests would like to give your pets a little extra attention and exercise while you're busy tending to the party, ask them to feel free to start a nice play or petting session.

 

Put the Meds Away
Make sure all of your medications are locked behind secure doors, and be sure to tell your guests to keep their meds zipped up and packed away, too.

 

Careful with Cocktails
If your celebration includes adult holiday beverages, be sure to place your unattended alcoholic drinks where pets cannot get to them. If ingested, your pet could become weak, ill and may even go into a coma, possibly resulting in death from respiratory failure.

 

A Room of Their Own
Give your pet his own quiet space to retreat to—complete with fresh water and a place to snuggle. Shy pups and cats might want to hide out under a piece of furniture, in their carrying case or in a separate room away from the hubbub.

 

New Year's Noise
As you count down to the new year, please keep in mind that strings of thrown confetti can get lodged in a cat's intestines, if ingested, perhaps necessitating surgery. Noisy poppers can terrify pets and cause possible damage to sensitive ears.

 

People Foods to Avoid Feeding Your Pets

 

Chocolate, Macadamia nuts, avocados…these foods may sound delicious to you, but they’re actually quite dangerous for our animal companions. Our nutrition experts have put together a handy list of the top toxic people foods to avoid feeding your pet. As always, if you suspect your pet has eaten any of the following foods, please note the amount ingested and contact your veterinarian or the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center at (888) 426-4435.

 

Chocolate, Coffee, Caffeine

 

These products all contain substances called methylxanthines, which are found in cacao seeds, the fruit of the plant used to make coffee and in the nuts of an extract used in some sodas. When ingested by pets, methylxanthines can cause vomiting and diarrhea, panting, excessive thirst and urination, hyperactivity, abnormal heart rhythm, tremors, seizures and even death. Note that darker chocolate is more dangerous than milk chocolate. White chocolate has the lowest level of methylxanthines, while baking chocolate contains the highest.

 

Alcohol

 

Alcoholic beverages and food products containing alcohol can cause vomiting, diarrhea, decreased coordination, central nervous system depression, difficulty breathing, tremors, abnormal blood acidity, coma and even death.

 

Avocado

 

The leaves, fruit, seeds and bark of avocados contain Persin, which can cause vomiting and diarrhea in dogs. Birds and rodents are especially sensitive to avocado poisoning, and can develop congestion, difficulty breathing and fluid accumulation around the heart. Some ingestions may even be fatal.

 

Macadamia Nuts

 

Macadamia nuts are commonly used in many cookies and candies. However, they can cause problems for your canine companion. These nuts have caused weakness, depression, vomiting, tremors and hyperthermia in dogs. Signs usually appear within 12 hours of ingestion and last approximately 12 to 48 hours.

 

Grapes & Raisins

 

Although the toxic substance within grapes and raisins is unknown, these fruits can cause kidney failure. In pets who already have certain health problems, signs may be more dramatic.

 

Yeast Dough

 

Yeast dough can rise and cause gas to accumulate in your pet’s digestive system. This can be painful and can cause the stomach or intestines to rupture. Because the risk diminishes after the dough is cooked and the yeast has fully risen, pets can have small bits of bread as treats. However, these treats should not constitute more than 5 percent to 10 percent of your pet’s daily caloric intake.

 

Raw/Undercooked Meat, Eggs and Bones

 

Raw meat and raw eggs can contain bacteria such as Salmonella and E. coli that can be harmful to pets. In addition, raw eggs contain an enzyme called avidin that decreases the absorption of biotin (a B vitamin), which can lead to skin and coat problems. Feeding your pet raw bones may seem like a natural and healthy option that might occur if your pet lived in the wild. However, this can be very dangerous for a domestic pet, who might choke on bones, or sustain a grave injury should the bone splinter and become lodged in or puncture your pet’s digestive tract.

 

Xylitol

 

Xylitol is used as a sweetener in many products, including gum, candy, baked goods and toothpaste. It can cause insulin release in most species, which can lead to liver failure. The increase in insulin leads to hypoglycemia (lowered sugar levels). Initial signs of toxicosis include vomiting, lethargy and loss of coordination. Signs can progress to recumbancy and seizures. Elevated liver enzymes and liver failure can be seen within a few days.

 

Onions, Garlic, Chives

 

These vegetables and herbs can cause gastrointestinal irritation and could lead to red blood cell damage. Although cats are more susceptible, dogs are also at risk if a large enough amount is consumed. Toxicity is normally diagnosed through history, clinical signs and microscopic confirmation of Heinz bodies. An occasional low dose, such as what might be found in pet foods or treats, likely will not cause a problem, but we recommend that you do NOT give your pets large quantities of these foods.

 

Milk

 

Because pets do not possess significant amounts of lactase (the enzyme that breaks down lactose in milk), milk and other milk-based products cause them diarrhea or other digestive upset.

 

Salt

 

Large amounts of salt can produce excessive thirst and urination, or even sodium ion poisoning in pets. Signs that your pet may have eaten too many salty foods include vomiting, diarrhea, depression, tremors, elevated body temperature, seizures and even death. In other words, keep those salty chips to yourself!

 

Our Perfect Companions

"Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet."

 

~Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette

 

 

 

Colette (pronounced: [kɔ.lɛt]) was the surname of the French novelist and performer Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette (28 January 1873 – 3 August 1954). She is best known for her novel Gigi, upon which Lerner and Loewe based the stage and film musical comedies of the same title.

 

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

  

 

 

Show kindness to animals any way you can - donate,

 volunteer or scratch behind one's ears.

 



 

Health, Happiness And Well-Being

November 22, 2013 

What The 1960s Got Right About Health, Happiness And Well-Being

The Huffington Post  |  By Carolyn Gregoire    Posted: 11/22/2013 8:46 am EST

When we think about the 60s, we might conjure up a decade when chain-smoking and two-martini lunches were still in vogue. Or, on the other end of the spectrum, we may think of a time defined by acid-dropping, free-loving counterculture. But however you look at it, the decade of the cultural revolution was a time when our ideas about health, wellness and happiness were radically changing.
In some ways, the spirit of the 1960s counterculture has made a resurgence today: We've arguably returned to a time when many are questioning the value of our relentless pursuit of "success" (and the stress that comes along with it), asking whether our hard-driving lifestyles are causing us to miss out on some of the important things in life. Interest in yoga, meditation and Eastern spirituality -- which were all originally popularized in the West during the 60s -- have also peaked in recent years, becoming ingrained in our cultural lexicon and American lifestyles.

From Transcendental Meditation to family dinners, here are some tips from the 1960s on living well.
 
Meditate.
 
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi brought Transcendental Meditation (TM) -- a type of mindfulness practice that uses the repetition of a mantra to clear the mind and promote relaxation -- to the U.S. in the late 1960s, and it spread like wildfire. The Beatles became followers of the Maharishi, spent time at his ashram in Rishikesh, India, and played an instrumental role in the popularization of the practice in the West. As a result, by the 1970s, "meditation moved from the counterculture to the mainstream, from weird to respectable, from youthful mind expansion to middle-age stress remedy," writes American Veda author Philip Goldberg.
And it works: TM has been associated with lower stress levels, improved academic performance, lower blood pressure, and reduced depression, among other physical and mental health benefits.

Get back to nature.

The counterculture moment revived many ideas from Transcendentalists like Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau, particularly the notion of getting back to nature as a way to reconnect with the self and with one's inner truth. Hippies of the 1960s spent time in nature, finding their own "Walden" spaces to reconnect with themselves through the power of nature.
“We need the tonic of wildness," Thoreau wrote in Walden. "At the same time that we are earnest to explore and learn all things, we require that all things be mysterious and unexplorable, that land and sea be indefinitely wild, unsurveyed and unfathomed by us because unfathomable. We can never have enough of nature.”
 
Read books.

Pre-Internet and cell phones, and just as the TV was starting to make its way into American homes, sitting down with a good book was still a favorite pastime. Today, with constant digital distraction vying for our attention, it's certainly more difficult to find the time (and focus) to read at length. Nearly one in three Americans haven't read a book in the past year, according to a recent HuffPost/YouGov poll, whereas 25 percent of individuals in a 1964-1984 literacy poll said that they had read a book in the past day.
And perhaps we should take an, er, page from their book: Research has shown that reading a book (on paper, not on your iPad) may lower stress levels, improve sleep quality, keep your brain sharp and ward off Alzheimer's.

Bring music into your life.

It's almost impossible to imagine the 1960s in America without classic rock bands like The Beatles, The Doors and the Grateful Dead, and singer-songwriters such as Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, and Joni Mitchell. Music was a huge part of the cultural revolution, and many of the values of the time were expressed through songs. Not only did music bring people together (ever seen photos of Woodstock?), but it also may have paid off with health benefits. Playing and listening to music could lower stress levels, ease anxiety and boost heart health.

Tune in to your spiritual side.

The cultural revolution called into question the dogma of organized religion, and instead advocated a free-thinking, inward-facing spirituality. The famous 1966 "Is God Dead?" TIME magazine cover affirmed the decline of religion and the rise of the "spiritual but not religious" faith designation and the New Age movement. Spirituality (which has been linked with mental health benefits, in addition to the known health benefits of having faith) blossomed during this time, and gained further cultural traction as the New Age crystallized in the 1970s.
Take a holistic approach to health.
The 1960s saw a grassroots revival of holistic health and natural medicine, as mind-body practices including meditation and yoga began to gain traction. Food co-ops also started to reappear at this time, filling the demand for healthy, fresh foods. Many Americans, for the first time, started factoring diet, lifestyle and emotions into the health equation. We now know that lifestyle factors can play an enormous role in influencing health outcomes, in addition to more traditional treatments.

Go on a retreat.

Some of the most popular spiritual retreat centers in the country today were founded in the 1960s, a respite for those looking to escape the city to find peace, balance and like-minded individuals. The Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Calif., opened its doors in 1962 as a "birthplace of the human potential movement," while the Kripalu Center For Yoga And Health was created out of the Yoga Society of Pennsylvania, founded in 1966.

Eat dinner with your family.

Even after the television set worked its way into American homes in the early 1960s, tech-free family dinners were a nightly social custom in homes across America.
"One of the most important and memorable part of growing up in the 1950s and 1960s was my mother's requirement that we eat our meals together," historian Carl Hoffman wrote on his blog. "No such thing as sitting in front of the TV to eat a meal. We started each meal with prayer and then ate our meal over conversation, jokes and laughter. It was a great time to grow up and a fond memory of that time in my life."

Choose meaning over money.

Man's Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl's often-cited meditation on the meaning of life, was named by UC Berkeley as a historically significant book of 1962, and it became one of a handful of books that defined the decade. As Frankl wrote, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

The 1960s cultural revolution was, at its core, a break from traditional ways of life and notions of success, allowing people to pursue unconventional lifestyles that placed a higher value on love and individual freedom. Science now tells us that pursuing lives of meaning might actually help us live longer. Recent research has shown that having a sense of purpose not only makes us happier, but could also make us healthier.

* Carolyn Gregoire is a features editor at the Huffington Post. She has spoken at TEDx and the Harvard Public Health Forum, and appeared on MSNBC and The TODAY Show.

Friendship Among Introverts

The Friendship Doctor
Published on November 3, 2009
by Irene S. Levine, Ph.D. in The Friendship Doctor

Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., is a psychologist and professor of psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine. Her latest book is Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend.

The Inside Scoop on Your Introvert Friends

It ain't easy being friends with an introvert...
 
I've never met my fellow PT blogger Sophia Dembling in person but consider her a friend of sorts. We met as members of one or another online writer communities that we both frequent because we have so many overlapping interests. She lives in Texas but her roots are pure New York. I love her sense of humor and her refreshing candor.

When I surveyed more than 1500 women for my book, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, women described what it was like to meet a close friend. "We just clicked," was the most common phrase they used. You can say that Sophia and I clicked, both literally and figuratively. Another thing we seem to have in common is that we consider ourselves introverts.

Sophia Speaks about friendship and introverts...

Losing friends can be particularly difficult for introverts because we don't surround ourselves with people. We prefer a few intimate friends to lots of less-intense friendships, and deep discussion with one person to a party full of festive chitchat. For us, losing one good friend can leave a larger hole in our lives than it might for an extrovert with 25 best friends.

Attrition in my friendships in recent years has forced me to think about what I most need and want in my friends. Among other things, and like all of us, I want my friends to understand me. But first, of course, that entails understanding myself. Writing and talking to people about introversion has helped me gain insight into my own behavior and what extroverts might want to know about their introverted friends.

It's all about energy: What appears to be the bottom-line difference between introverts and extroverts is that social interactions are energizing to extroverts but draining for introverts. This is why I might come to your party but leave long before the conga line starts. And why a stretch of interaction then requires a few days of solitude to recover. If you understand this, you will have grasped a key quality of your introverted friends and their perhaps puzzling behavior (why didn't she come to the after-hours party?) will make more sense.

I don't need to come out of my shell: A huge misconception about introverts is that we're all shy. Nope, not the same thing. One can be introverted and shy, or introverted and not shy. (Same with extroversion.) I'm not shy. When I'm in the mood to socialize, I'm perfectly friendly and outgoing. When I'm reluctant to socialize, it's choice, not fear. So if I decline an invitation, please don't push or insist it will be good for me. I have my reasons and they're valid. (At the same time, I promise not to say "no thanks" too often.)

The more is not the merrier: Not for me, anyway. If we make plans, please, please don't invite other people to join us-at the very least, check with me first. Introverts usually prefer one-on-one to groups and I'm bummed when the nice cozy visit I anticipated turns into a convivial racket. I'm sure your friends are wonderful people, just don't spring them on me and please don't be offended if I decline invitations to group outings. (Although I do believe that friends attend friends' parties. It's the right thing to do and if you throw one, I will come.)

Anything but the telephone: I have one friend who likes to call "just to hear my voice." Very sweet of her but I wish she would invite me to lunch instead. (Yes, of course I invite her; I usually initiate our get-togethers.) Like many introverts, I loathe the telephone. For one thing, we tend to think and respond slowly, and dead air on the telephone doesn't work. I'm awkward on the phone, especially when just-to-chat calls drop on me from out of the blue. And I feel bad that the other person can always sense my yearning to break free. But really, it's not you, it's the phone. Don't take it personally. (I do talk on the phone, sometimes for hours, with far-flung friends. However, I like to either schedule those calls or initiate them so I don't feel ambushed. I often screen my calls and return them when I feel up to it.)

Yes, I like online communication: Don't give me grief: The Internet is a godsend for introverts. Not as a replacement for face-to-face, no no!, but to stay connected between visits and take care of business (making plans, for example) without obligatory and tedious phone chitchat. Want to make me happy? Set up a get-together via e-mail. (I don't text or IM much, but many introverts like those, too.) I'm also a fan of social networking-a Facebook extrovert. I'm not a loner in my parents' basement with lots of virtual friends and no "real" ones. My Facebook friends are mostly real-life friends, many of whom are far away. I love being able to kibitz with them anytime online. (Of course, as a writer, I also spend a lot of time in front of a computer.) If you're not a fan of Facebook, that's fine. Just don't hassle me about it, OK?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/

Fostering Compassionate Relationships with Nonhuman Animals

   

The Compassionate Animal

By Marc Bekoff | September 1, 2008 | 0 Comments

Our relationships with nonhuman animals range all over the place. They’re complicated, frustrating, awkward, loving, and challenging. Around the world we gawk at animals in wonder, experiment on them, eat them, wear them, write about them, draw and paint them, make decisions for them, and move them from here to there as we “redecorate nature.” Yet we often ignore who they are and what they want.

In truth, science has discovered a lot about the inner lives of diverse species, more than we often give ourselves credit for. Indeed, animals’ lives aren’t all that private, hidden, or secret; a flurry of research has offered insight into the emotional lives of animals. We now know that animals have a point of view and that they experience deep feelings.

Two recent discoveries speak to the emotional lives of vastly different species, mice and whales.
In 2006, a Canadian team of neuroscientists showed that mice are empathic beings that feel the pain and suffering of other mice. McGill University’s Dale Langford and colleagues injected acetic acid into the paws of one or both members of a pair of adult mice, causing a painful burning sensation. Mice who watched their cage-mates in pain became more sensitive to the same painful stimuli, indicating that they had a notion of what the others were experiencing. A mouse injected with acid writhed more violently if his or her partner had also been injected and was writhing in pain.
Of course, it’s ironic that painful experiments like that one are used to uncover animal emotions, when observations of these rodents and many other animals clearly show that they experience empathy and other feelings. These scientific facts haven’t yet entered into discussions about the well-being of mice.

Anyone who has worked with whales intuitively knows they’re extremely emotional, but only in the past few years have researchers uncovered biological evidence for this fact. They’ve found that many types of whales have specialized “spindle cells”—cells important in processing emotion and developing intelligent behavior—in brain regions linked to social organization, empathy, intuition about the feelings of others, and rapid gut reactions. Humans have spindle cells in the same brain regions, and previously these cells were thought to exist only in humans and other great apes.
The presence of these spindle cells suggests that whales have advanced abilities to experience emotion, and we can find plenty of real-world evidence to back this up. In December of 2005, the San Francisco Chronicle reported on a 50-foot, 50-ton female humpback whale who had been caught in a net near the Farallon Islands, off the California coast. After rescuers untangled her, the humpback swam up to each of them and winked before swimming off.

According to the story, the rescuers all agreed that she was expressing gratitude.
These discoveries surely make us rethink how we treat animals. But cruelty to animals has serious implications for humans as well.

Studies by Frank Ascione, Phil Arkow, Barbara Boat, and many others show that children who are cruel to animals are significantly more likely to commit violence against humans later in life—the absence of empathy for one indicates lack of empathy for the other. Indeed, studies of prison inmates reveal that as many as 75 percent of violent offenders had early records of animal cruelty.
When we link these studies in cruelty with new discoveries about the inner lives of animals, our relationships with animals take on greater importance: It becomes clear that compassionate relationships with animals are integral to a more compassionate world.

There are two main steps we can take toward fostering these compassionate relationships. First, we must recognize that animals have active minds and deep feelings. Second, we must “mind” them as their caretakers in a human-dominated world, where their interests are continually trumped in deference to ours.

Many programs have tried to make this ideal of minding animals a reality. I serve as a roving ambassador for Jane Goodall’s Roots & Shoots Program, which helps kids learn how to care for animals, the earth, and people. The Humane Society of the United States has a program, called “First Strike,” devoted to learning more about the connection between cruelty to animals and to humans.

The Society & Animals Forum and the Human/Animal Violence Education Network have also launched similar programs that deserve our support.

Ultimately, I believe compassion for animals will make for more compassion among people, weaving more empathy, respect, dignity, and love into all our lives. Animals and future generations of humans will surely thank us for our efforts.

About The Author

Marc Bekoff, Ph.D., is the author of many books, including The Emotional Lives of Animals, Animals Matter, and Wild Justice: Reflections on Empathy, Fair Play, and Morality in Animals (with Jessica Pierce), and he is the editor of the Encyclopedia of Human-Animal Relationships. He and Jane Goodall co-founded Ethologists for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.   

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Marc Bekoff (born September 6, 1945) is Professor Emeritus of Ecology and Evolutionary Biology at the University of Colorado, Boulder.^[1][2] He currently lives in Colorado and lectures internationally on issues of animal behavior, cognitive ethology (the study of animal minds), and behavioral ecology.^[3]

Biography
Bekoff was born in Brooklyn, New York.^[1]
Like Jane Goodall, Marc Bekoff is an ethologist, which means a scientist who studies animal behavior. With Goodall, he co-founded Ethologists for the Ethical Treatment of Animals: Citizens for Responsible Animal Behavior Studies.^[3]
Bekoff is a patron of the Captive Animals Protection Society, a charity campaigning for an end to the use of non-human animals in circuses, zoos and the exotic pet trade.^[4]
In May 2010, Bekoff wrote a piece on "Expanding Our Compassionate Footprint" for the Greater Good Science Center's online magazine. He argued that humans can learn from and should incorporate the empathy displayed elsewhere within the animal kingdom: "...if we want to understand the roots of human goodness, we've got to look beyond humans."^[5]
Bekoff is vegan.^[6] He regularly writes articles for a science column about animal emotion on PsychologyToday.com.^[7]

Copyright 2013 The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley

What Animals Can Teach Us...

 

 

What Animals Can Teach Us About Being Better Human Beings

The Huffington Post  |  By Carolyn Gregoire   Posted: 11/12/2013 3:32 pm EST

Our animal counterparts have quite a few lessons to offer (the value of napping, for one). Humans are fundamentally social animals, and in learning to coexist more peacefully, the animal kingdom could teach us a thing or two.

Research has shown that animals are capable of great depth of emotion and complex systems of social cooperation, and we know that animals can care for each other and for human beings.

"Science has discovered a lot about the inner lives of diverse species, more than we often give ourselves credit for," Marc Bekoff, author of The Emotional Lives Of Animals, wrote in a Greater Good blog post. "Indeed, animals’ lives aren’t all that private, hidden, or secret; a flurry of research has offered insight into the emotional lives of animals. We now know that animals have a point of view and that they experience deep feelings."

Here are 11 things that animals' social behavior can teach us about being good to each other.

They respect their elders.



In African elephant tribes, matriarchs remain the leaders of the group until they die, often well into their 60s and 70s, and the elephants benefit from having an elder matriarch's experience. Research has shown that elephant groups with older matriarchs are more effective at fighting off predatory lions. Matriarchs older than 60 did not show any signs of cognitive decline, and they had more success recognizing and responding to predatory threats.
 
“Otherwise you might expect them to marginalize until they die, but this suggests that they don’t have the same sort of cognitive decline as humans,” evolutionary ecologist Karen McComb told the New York Times. “Of course, human women in their 60s are doing quite fine, aren’t they?”

 They exhibit signs of empathy and compassion.



Anyone who's had a longtime pet knows that animals can be unbelievably attuned to humans' states of emotional and physical well-being. A recent study backed that up, showing that dogs yawn more in response to their owners' yawns than to others, which suggests that dogs are empathetic towards their owners.
Plenty of research suggests animals are capable of great depths of empathy. In one study, Carolyn Zahn-Waxler from the National Institute of Mental Health had intended to examine young children's emotional responses to family members' emotions, but found that some pets showed as much worry as children when their adult owners feigned distress. The pets would stick near their owners and put their heads on their laps in response to the display of emotion.
And in a now-famous 1964 study, psychiatrist Jules Masserman found that rhesus monkeys refused to pull a chain that would deliver them food if doing so would hurt another monkey. One monkey avoided pulling the chain for 12 days (until virtually starving) to avoid hurting a companion.

They cuddle.




They're nice to their neighbors.



Monkeys who live in groups often exhibit highly pro-social behaviors. Red colobus monkeys (pictured above) are so friendly that they even socialize with members of other species, according to BBC Nature, grooming others as a sign of friendliness and respect. Baboons are also highly social, sometimes interacting playfully with neighboring groups of chimpanzees.

They can sense others' feelings.



We've all heard that animals can detect fear, but their ability to tap into what others are thinking and feeling (even subconsciously) extends far beyond sensing either weakness or a threat. In one particularly extraordinary case, a cat named Oscar at a Rhode Island nursing home predicted the deaths of close to 50 elderly individuals by planting himself on their beds just hours before they died.
 
"His mere presence at the bedside is viewed by physicians and nursing home staff as an almost absolute indicator of impending death, allowing staff members to adequately notify families," geriatrician Dr. David Dosa wrote in the New England Journal of Medicine. "Oscar has also provided companionship to those who would otherwise have died alone. For his work, he is highly regarded by the physicians and staff at Steere House and by the families of the residents whom he serves."

They help each other out.



Elephants are some of the smartest animals out there -- and they might be better than many humans when it comes to working together. Evolutionary psychologists have found that elephants are highly adept in social coordination when pursuing shared goals. A Cambridge study found that elephants can learn to coordinate with a partner on a task that required the pair to simultaneously pull two ends of the same rope in order to obtain a reward. Not only did they act effectively together, but if their partner was delayed, they waited for up to 45 seconds.

They're diplomatic.



Dolphins have a sophisticated "language" and communication system, using sounds, in some cases, to avoid violence or confrontation. The common bottlenose dolphin has a vocal repertoire of 14 sonically distinct social signals, according to scientist J. Andrea Bernal Shirai. The dolphins "burst-pulsed" as a way to avoid possible aggression in situations of high excitement and energy, possibly when competing for food.
 
"Bottlenose dolphins make longer burst-pulsed sounds when they are hunting and at times of high aggression, and make it possible for each individual to maintain its position in the pod's social hierarchy," Phys Org explained. "Dolphins emit these strident sounds, for example, when in the presence of other individuals moving towards the same prey, forcing the least dominant mammal to quickly move away in order to avoid confrontation."

They can find love in a hopeless place.



An unlikely love affair between a swan and a tractor reveals an important truth from the animal kingdom: Love is blind, and it can be found in even the most surprising places. Swans mate for life, and when eight-year-old Schwani couldn't find another swan to be with, he sought partnership elsewhere. At a German hotel, the swan became infatuated with the groundskeeper's tractor. According to CBS, Schwani "just can't get enough of the mechanical companion."

"He follows me around all the time, no matter where I go -- whether I cross the street or go deep into the animal garden to take came of the pathways, the swan comes along," hotelier Herman Josef Hericks told CBS. "And if I take a break, then it stands right next to it ... as if ready to get in."

They enjoy group playtime.

They make love last.



Many species of animals mate for life, including swans, wolves, albatrosses, termites, bald eagles and gibbons (the closest species to humans to do so, although they do occasionally seek pleasure outside the relationship). Most bird species that mate for life, like eagles, pigeons and turtle doves, will only choose another partner after their mate has died. And despite popular wisdom from Friends, lobsters don't make the list (their mating system more closely resembles a harem).

They get by with a little help from their friends.